Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, October 29, 2004 at 3:40 PM

The Mooch versus The Tuna.

Time constraints here, but a promise is a promise, so here is my Lions prediction for this coming Sunday. The defense will continue to impress, the running game combo of Pinner and Jones will again go over a hundred yards and Harrington will do just enough to keep the Lions alive and well. All in all it will be a close game, a defensive battle, and late in the fourth quarter the Lions will get a key turnover that will propel them to the winning drive. My final score prediction is -

Lions 20, Cowboys 13

Well, have a safe and happy weekend my fellow fans. As always, party hardy - but party responsibly. It is a "GO BLUE" weekend here at Luke Waltons Forehead - that is maize and blue on Saturday, followed by Honolulu blue on Sunday. Great sports weekend, next week will be even better! I will preview the Pistons, give my Monday Morning Quarterback post game analysis of the Wolverines and Lions, as well as maybe some baseball talk next week as well. Sorry about the lack of a bikini pick today, maybe next week I will make up for it by having two! Be safe, have fun and godspeed - the sports dude!

at 1:46 PM

GO BLUE - GO MAIZE - Go to Division 1-AA MSU.

Well, we will start with the rivalry, the battle, the blue, the green, the game of games. Saturday, 3:30, THE BIG HOUSE - U of M against MSU. I think I behaved well this week, how about you? No Spartan bashing, no hatred for MSU, nothing - I behaved like a mature adult that just wants to see a fair contest, a good game, a hard fought, clean game. Alright, that is crap - I only behaved because there really is no need to talk trash in this rivalry, is there? Being a Wolverine means that a victory is all but guaranteed, unless the Spartans cheat! Remember Spartan Bob? And don't tell me to forget him, the bastard admitted to it the following year in the paper! He gave them extra time, that little bitch! I counted down, the state counted down, the TV announcers counted down, but Bob - he thought it was 3-2-1-1-1-0! I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT GAME OR THAT CHEATER SPARTAN BOB! Or, how about 1990, the last time the Spartans "WON" in Ann Arbor? You know, the no call pass interference, tripping and all out RAPE of Desmond Howard in the end zone? That cost us our number 1 ranking, quite possibly a national championship shot, and I am suppose to forget it? Never! The point is simple, when U-M wins it does it fairly and cleanly, when MSU wins it needs extra time, cheating and bullshit! The Spartans will always suck, the Spartans will always be inferior, and the Spartans will always be whining, cheating little bitches! GO BLUE!

Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but see what this week does to my maize and blue blood? Now, where were we, oh yes, the predictions. Well, from the above paragraph I think you can guess what school I am rooting for, I hope?!?! Well my prediction for this game is that it will be over by halftime, if the Spartans are lucky. Our defense will choke the life out of the green and make them wish they were playing ( take your pick ) Rutgers, Central Michigan, or any other "power house" powder puff school they play against and always lose to! Michael Hart will continue to put up great numbers, running again for over 200 yards and a couple scores. Henne will continue to find the tight ends, but I think we will see the good old Braylon back this week with about 150 yards and a few scores. The defense will score a touchdown on a return, Stevie Breaston will finally return a kick, and we will put some field goals in the books to boot! Plus, the back ups will all be in by the fourth quarter and they will score some as well! That being said, the only reason why I think the Spartans will find the end zone is because they score late in the fourth quarter against our bench players, the band, and some people Lloyd Carr picks from the stands to play. Here is my prediction:

Halftime Score - U of M 28, MSU 3

Final Score - U of M 48, MSU 13

GO HOME SPARTY, YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later on today I will post about my Lions prediction, but I am out of time. Go Blue, Go Maize, get out of town green and go to division 1-AA or something, until later my readers - the sports dude.

Thursday, October 28, 2004 at 4:53 PM

Selling out in Ann Arbor...

(Even though the Wolverines saved their pride, I still came up with this funny story for an all out sponsored game. Seeing how I don't want it to go to waste, I am still going to post it anyway - here it goes!)

Welcome to the Damon's Steakhouse Big House in Ann Arbor, Michigan for the first ever Green and Blue challenge. The Michigan State Spartans are brought to you today by American Express, and they are looking to take charge today on the field early in this one. Just like another green team, or card if you will, can do for you, American Express always allows you to take charge whenever, wherever, for all you spending needs.

The Michigan Wolverines are brought to you today by Viagra, the infamous little blue pill. The boys in blue definitely appeared fired up and ready to go for today's game, a great tradition between interstate rivals and powerhouses. They surely don't appear to need any help getting up for this challenge, but if you need help getting up for a challenge at home, don't forget to take that little blue pill for yourself. But, as always, please see a doctor before taking any medication. You could even seek out the advice of the fine doctors here in Ann Arbor at the University of Michigan Health Center, proud sponsors of the training staff and medical attendants here with us today for this great game.

Now, before we get to the opening kick off, brought to you today by Dunham's Sports, let's talk about some of the things to watch for at home this afternoon. There will be a number of plays that you, the home viewing audience, can vote in for this afternoon by hitting "#FU2" on your Verizon Wireless phone. As Verizon says "Can you hear me now? Good!", and on this afternoon it is good for the fans, because we definitely want to hear you now. Here are some of the things to watch for, and vote on, in today's contest:

- "The Comcast High Speed Internet Connection" long pass of the day.

- "The Leggs Pantyhose" Run of the Game.

- "Mr. Muffler Brake Shop" defensive stop of the game.

- "DTE Energy" Most Energetic Player of the Game.

- "Hooters" Best Looking Cheerleader of the Game.

- "WDFN The Fans" - Fan of the Game.

As always, today's instant replay is brought to you by TiVo, so no one misses a beat, not even the referees. Be sure not to miss a second of the Home Depot Halftime Show and don't forget to stayed tuned after the game for the Tostitos Post Game show with all of today's highlights from this game and around the nation. As always, I am Bret Mushburger, brought to you by the fine folks at Men's Wearhouse, saying lets go down to the field for today's kickoff and please, enjoy the great tradition that is college athletics.

at 8:46 AM

Thank you U-M for finding your pride!

Well, even though I had a funny post to rip on the SBC Challenge game all prepared, I am still none the less happy that U-M remembered that TRADITION should ALWAYS come before money and greed. This isn't a Florida school, this is Michigan, the maize and blue, the mighty Wolverines - not a cheap suit and a $50 dollar whore. But that is what the game was about, it was about tarnishing an image, cheapening the great tradition. If you don't get excited about U-M versus Ohio State on your own, without having to "spice" it all up with a stupid sponsorship, than you shouldn't call yourself a college football fan - let alone a football fan at all. The game doesn't need sponsors, the game doesn't need endorsements, the GAME ENDORSES ITSELF! It is U of M versus Ohio State, and that should be enough for everyone. I am glad U of M came to their senses, well, actually I am glad that the alumni's voices, the fans voices, were heard. It is nice to see that they are still important voices, just like tradition, heritage, and the game itself - not money and greed.

I still might put my other post up later, because it was funny, but for now I am out of time. Until then, chew on what little info I have given you, swallow and digest, but please do not choke or get food poisoning. Until the next time, my friends - the sports dude.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004 at 11:25 AM

And Carmelo says... "It was my friends weed, man!"

Well, isn't that special? How convenient, for Carmelo that is, that it wasn't his weed. I mean, we all have room mates, right? And we all have people we share back packs with, right? And when we go out of town, we take our back packs with us, and we repack our backpacks, right? And we just happen to forget to check what is in there, or just assume that what is in there is okay and add our own stuff to it, right? Oops, what is that? There is weed in my back pack, you say? Oh, man, it isn't mine, it is my buddies. See, I have this room mate that stays with me, and we share everything. We even share this back pack, from time to time, and I just grabbed it before I left to get on the plane, man. I just figured it was all good, you know, the stuff in here. I mean, we are after all, room mates, so I figured it was stuff in here that I would like, so why bother checking before I got on the plane. I mean, my stuff is his stuff, so I figured the back pack was all good too, you know? But this weed, this ain't mine, yo, it is definitely his. See, we may share a house, a back pack, but not the weed or the peanut butter - we have our own. I like JIF, he likes Peter Pan brand. I mean, you know, I just forgot to check.

Seriously Carmelo, get a life! Face it, you baby, if you weren't too busy pouting over your lack of playing time at the Olympics ( because you ain't got no game, even if you are on the cover of EA NBA Basketball 2005 - CURSE OF THE GAME COVER ) you would realize that this is a played out excuse and you should be thrown in jail for flat out lying through your pouting lips! Let me put it to you this way, even though his friend is saying it was his and not 'Melo's, do you still believe it? Check his buddies bank account soon, or his sock drawer, I guarantee that there is a hefty sum of money in there somewhere for taking the fall for this for his "good buddy" 'Melo. I mean, it is a small fine, a little probation, and you still get to live in a mansion with Carmelo - shoot, I'd take the fall for him too - I would just demand that I can share his peanut butter with him, instead of having to get my own.

Is it a big deal - yes, it is. But it looks even worse when you play the "It wasn't mine, it was my friends" card - and then throw the "we share a back pack" line on top of it! You are a multi-millionaire teenager, dude, you expect me to believe that you only have one back pack up in your "crib" and that you have to share it with your room mate? That is pathetic, go back to college, get a degree in better lying techniques, and get a life! Also, get another back pack, one especially for "your friend and his weed", then we don't have to worry about it anymore, nor do you.

That is all, enough said. I got to go make a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and hope I grabbed the right brown bag from the fridge this morning. I guess if I didn't, and my boss walks by and sees me with a beer at my desk, I can always say "Sorry boss, I must of grabbed my kids lunch this morning instead, it is his beer and not mine." Good by, god speed, keep reading my buddies - the sports dude.

at 9:54 AM

The early man post...

Just wanted to add a quick post here about an extremely funny thing Sean Baligian at WDFN THE FAN is doing this week, and trying to carry over to the WDFN website. It is called the early man contest, in honor of people like the Walton's, Bill and Luke, and people who look like they may be living in a cave somewhere. Other nominees to list, that I have heard on the air, are Johnny Damon of the ( soon to be in six games ) world series champion Red Sox - made even funnier by Sean's claims that Mr. Damon has been promised fire by manager Terry Francona and that is why his game is suddenly on fire. Others on the list include Jamaal Mashburn, George Muresan, Andre the Giant, Tayshaun Prince and Shawn Bradley - just to name a few.

Through email to Mr. Baligian, I recently suggested (former?) NBA player Tracy Murray, but have just thought of someone else as well - Sean Kemp.

Well, more in the hours to come, post wise, from yours truly. Always check back for updates and be sure to check out WDFN THE FAN for all the latest in the world of sports and cavemen! Until next time, chisel some tools out of stone and try to make a round wheel my friends - the sports dude!

at 9:02 AM

SBC Classic?

This is embarrassing, it really is. Naming a freaking regular season game after a sponsor? Name it a border battle, name it red .vs. blue ( all cheesy, I know, but I am thinking on the fly here! ), but don't sell out. Let alone, don't sell out for a regular season game - that is. If you want a SBC Challenge game, that is fine, but here is what you need to do - add a twelveth team you dumb asses! Make the SBC Game the Big 10 Championship game, after the regular season is over. Then it would be justifiable, then it would make sense, then it wouldn't be a sell out! You add the 12th team, split the big 10 into two six team divisions, and let them all go at it for a season. They already play 11 games, so here would be the break down:

If you take the "division" games, being there are six teams in each division, you would have five guaranteed big 10 games on the schedule. Then, instead of three non-conference games, add a fourth, which brings us to a total of nine games in the regular season. You still need a couple more games, so say play a couple games from the other big 10 division, or maybe play a balanced schedule of 5 division games and 5 non-conference games. But it needs to be done and Notre Dame is there for the taking. Shit, they already play nearly half of there schedule against the Big 10, just add them for goodness sake!

Well, that is all for now, the boss is roaming and we needs to be a workin'!!!! Later I will discuss the sham that is the BCS and what I think needs to be done to fix it and make it fair. Until then, my hearties, drink some beers - or coffee - and hang on my every word - the sports dude!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004 at 10:20 AM

Eating my words... what can I say?

Well, I guess I will start with Saturday and my beloved Wolverines. I at least got their point total correct, 16, but came up short on Purdue's. Well, it was a hard fought game all the way to the finish, and once again, thanks to my boy Mike Hart the maize and blue came out on top. Seriously folks, where would U-M be without Michael Hart? They would be somewhere around .500, which is unacceptable in these parts nowadays. What are we, the Spartans? .500 football is not acceptable in Ann Arbor, maybe in East Lansing that is viewed as an accomplishment, but not here. Alright, alright, I had to get at least on Spartan bash in here - it is, after all, the showdown week. I will preview that later in the week, most likely Friday, but not before then. I will not, however, make any promises about holding in the Spartan bashing this week, that is, after all, part of the fun. But, U-M won, I boldly predict they will now run the table in the Big 11, and will wait and see if Wisconsin will lose somewhere for us in the weeks to come. Funny, don't you think, that whenever we don't play the Badgers they have a great season, but when we are on their schedule later in the year, they get scared and have crappy years? Weird. One last thing, thanks to Ernest Shazor for that huge hit, that boy is a great football player, don't you think?

Now, the Lions. Real quick here I suggest that for the remainder of this year we either move our games to the Silverdome so that it feels like we are on the road or give away free tickets to fans of the opposing teams so that they come here and cheer against us. I still don't trust Joey Harrington, but I think he should have a beer with Tony Sarugosa before every game. Hey, whatever works for you. I still think they will finish 9-7, good enough for second in the division behind the Vikings and quite possibly good enough for a wild card, if things fall in place.

Well, more in the days to come, still a lot to talk about this week, and we will talk about it, believe you me. Until then my fellow sports geeks, signing off, the sports dude.

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