Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Dear Pistons –

Hey there guys, the sports dude here, and I know that not a single one of you have any idea who I am, where I came from or how I got this letter through to you, but I did and there is a very important message in it for you. Do you all want to know what it is? Well, even if you don’t I am going to give it to you and it goes a little something like this; shut the hell up, wake the freak up and play some damn ball. The mind games are not working on the Cavs; do you think they really care if you think you are better than them? Tell you what, right now, they are better than you and that should be embarrassing enough to wake you up. Right now the Cavs are playing loose and you guys are playing scared and that is about all you need to know. Seriously guys please just shut up, give the Cavs the respect they have most definitely earned and just go play ball. Now here are some personalized messages for each of you guys:

Chauncey – so you felt like you got snubbed finishing fifth in the MVP vote hey? Well, no offense there fellow, but that fifth place finish seems a little generous right now if you ask me. All I have to say is you are being out played by Eric Snow and Damon Jones and I think I will leave the place where you are going to hide your head up to you.

Rip – what the hell was that junk at the end of game #5? Wait, I take that back, what the hell has been your deal late in the games lately? You have been missing lay ups, jumpers and even free throws and that is not something we are accustomed to seeing from you. Don’t ever throw up weak crap like that at the end of the game again; remember the Boston game early in the season where was that shot?

Rasheed – all I have is three simple things to say to you and they are Sideshow Bob, Drew (NOT)Gooden and some guy with a Russian name that I can not pronounce let alone spell. Do you know why I bring them up? Simple and it is because all three of them are out playing you in this series and that is another embarrassing thing that I never thought I would type. In fact I might even throw Donyell Marshall in there and say he is doing more than you as well. Rasheed, come on, even on one leg you should own these guys, we all know it, and that is the only guaran-sheed I want to even think about again. Shut up, put your ass down on the block and score some down low. Also go look at some Laimbeer and Mahorn game tapes because it wouldn’t hurt to start putting some guys on their asses when they get in the paint. Not to hurt them, we are not dirty players, but just to remind them this is not the Washington Wizards and it is not a walk in the park.

Tayshaun – look, of all the guys out there maybe the only thing I can say to you is start asking for the ball more, open your mouth and demand it. Force Lebron to play some more defense, you are a mismatch for everyone on that team. Oh, one last thing, I would like to say you have played pretty good defense so far as well.

Ben – look dude, I don’t know where you have been but I hope you don’t have that max contract on your mind because it ain’t going to happen, you aren’t a max guy. Right now I have for you a 3 year $30 million contract with a club option for a fourth but that is where I draw the line. If you are thinking contract that is a bad thing to do, just shut up, block shots, grab some boards and help Rasheed start putting some of these guys on their asses when they drive the lane.

Flip – look, don’t forget that you picked up Delk for a reason, Delfino is better than Evans so use him, if McDyess is your so called “sixth starter” than use him like one and damn it come up with some better plays out of the time outs, what you have come up with so far has been rather lame to tell you the truth. Lastly I know you like to be the loose and player friendly coach, basically the anti LB but I think you might want to tighten the reigns here a little bit. I am not saying smother them but rather just put your foot down a little bit more than you have been. The turnovers and the arrogance need to stop and the coach has got to drop the hammer on that stuff, which is all on you.

That is it guys, thanks for your time and I just want you to know I am not ready to see you guys fishing with Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith so you better come out tonight and play Pistons basketball because so far all I have seen is the JV crap that you guys always complain about.

Later – the desperate and wishful sports dude.

Okay, I think I can do this now; earlier today I was not ready to type, to talk, to even think about the strange happenings in Detroit basketball land that we have seen in the past week. I guess the best thing I can do to summarize my feelings and emotions and all the things that come to mind is simply to say what the crap and that about sums it up.

Where have the Pistons gone, does anyone have that answer? Can we send out an Amber Alert for them? This is not the same team that swept through the regular season, the first round against the Bucks and game 1 and three quarters of game 2. This is not the same team that won in 2004 and came five minutes shy of a back to back last year. Where is the sense of urgency? Where is the fire? Where is the TEAM? It can not be all LB can it? Where is trying to prove everyone wrong about that? Find something darn it!

As far as the game goes I don’t want to hear any conspiracy theory crap, as much as I hate to say it the Cavs are simply playing better ball right now. The Cavs are doing what the Pistons are suppose to be doing, they are playing like the veteran team that has been there and done that and the Pistons are playing like the “just happy to be here” team. And saying that the Chauncey Billups foul on Lebron at the end of the game was a smart foul, how the hell was that smart? It was stupid, period, end of story! If it was only his fourth foul then maybe I could see the “smartness” of it but it was his sixth man, the most clutch player we have was gone with three minutes left, it was just stupid. The game was tied, give Lebron the dunk, you are only down two and you still have Chauncey. That right there was the game if you ask me, if Chauncey was in I like our chances more than three minutes of crunch time without him. And Rip, what the hell was that sissy thing you did at the end of the game and what the hell was the play call anyway? That was what you came up with for your final shot? Again all I can say is what the crap!

Understand this people this is not the New Jersey series from two years ago this is a total and complete different beast. The difference is in that series there was no Lebron to be dealt with and we all know Lebron has not had that monster game yet in this series right? How many people think that he has it saved up for tomorrow? The answer to that is this sports dude thinks it is coming people mark my words it is coming. Think it will come out tomorrow night? You bet your bottom dollar it will. The real question is can the Pistons counter it or is it too late. Lastly, and I can not believe I am typing this either, if the series does go seven I still don’t know if I like the Pistons chances in game #7 folks, for the first time in nearly three seasons there is doubt in my mind and I do not like it. The only consolation I have is that there are no three day “David Stern TV prime time schedule breaks” in between, it will all be over within the next three days and that is about it, I just want it to be over… my heart can no longer take this crap. There it is again, the word crap, and that best sums up the way the Pistons are playing right now as we speak.

Later – the sports dude.

This has happened before right, so why the hell am I so nervous? Was it that giant meatball sub I ate at lunch that is causing my stomach to twist and turn? Well that may be part of it, there were a lot of peppers and onions, but I think the Pistons have more to do with it than anything else. I mean did the Pistons just decide to play good old fashioned Larry Brown basketball because it looks like their old coach may get the boot again? Why am I so nervous this time, this isn’t a 3-2 deficit against New Jersey two years ago where they had to win game 6 in NJ. This isn’t last year against Miami where they had to win game 7 in Miami or even needing game 6 in SA last year in the Finals. What the hell is it then? Why this strange feeling, usually I am confident but something just smells funny here folks and I don’t like it.

The only glimmer of hope I am holding on to is the fact that they get to face the Cavs two out of three at home and that is still very little consolation to me at this point. For nine straight quarters now, the last one in game 2 and all of them in Cleveland, the Pistons have been beaten in every aspect of the game by a team that should not be doing this to the Pistons. In the regular season we have seen this before against the likes of the Bobcats, the Hawks, or any other bottom feeder team that you want to name, but this is the playoffs man, where is your heart at boys? Or to quote one of the more infamous people in the “D” itself let us go to the clip of Matt Millen asking “where are you testicles?” Something has got to give and I hope it is not the Pistons.

In order for me to feel somewhat better I need to see another game 1 performance tonight, I need to see the Pistons run the Cavs out of the Palace and just destroy them by 20 some points. Why you ask? Simply because even if they win a close one the Cavs will still have that little bit of confidence left in them and I just want to see the Pistons cut it all out right here, right now, and just finish it before it grows stronger. No screwing around, no keeping it close, I mean by the fourth quarter I want to see Delk, Hunter, Delfino, Cato and Davis on the floor. Guys this series has to go no more than six, the Heat and Pat Riley are just sitting there licking their chops, healing their wounds and game planning for (hopefully) you guys in the Eastern Conference Finals. End it, put the dagger in the Cavs and let them bleed out on the Palace floor tonight, there can be no more screwing around with these guys, I am sure my stomach is not the only one upset right now in this town.

Later – the worried sports dude.

All right, enough singing, on with the post!!!!

So the trade is finally complete and Joey Blue Skies is no more, bye-bye, see you later! The soap opera is finally over, the drama queen has left town and now Joey can simply ride off into the sunset and go some place where he can feel needed and loved. Look, you all know I have never been a Joey supporter, I had the word “BUST” tattooed on his head the moment the Lions drafted him a few years ago so it is clear there is no love lost from my end of the tale. I will say this about him and that is the fact he definitely took the high road for four years and I would like to give him props for that, he took more crap than most and he handled better than most would have for sure. I never had problems with him as a person, I could care less if he was a glass half full personality, the problem I had with him was the fact that he was a half glass empty type talent.

So did anyone read the Mitch Albom interviews with Joey in the Freep the last couple days? If not here are the links here and here to the two parts and a more interesting counter interview with Tom “The Killer” Kowalski here that I think spoke more truth than Albom’s work. Look, maybe I was just looking for more or maybe it is my total disgust with anything Mitch does nowadays but didn’t the interview just seem a little staged, a little too fake and phony? Maybe it is because I know, as we all do, that Mitch likes to write fiction books on the side but it almost seemed like Joey gave Mitch the questions in advance and then Mitch did his best to “fiction up” the article. No I am not accusing Mitch of lying; all I am saying is that I agree with the Killer more than Mitch and that it seemed that too many of the good and obvious questions were left out or just not asked all together.

I also want to say that it is quite clear that Joey wanted to be gone and should have been gone a long time ago; this move was just way too overdue. I also want to say that although I am sure it was not the intent the interview, at least to me, really made Joey seem a little bit on the baby side, for lack of a better word at the time. Reading it together just made me see this little kid with a “nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I am going to eat some worms” mentality balled up in a corner crying for his mommy. Look Joey, you can say what you want about the coaches, you can say what you want about the players or your lack of a support group, but at some point and time you have just got to perform dude. The last time I checked you never did that and I would like to say that you had the ultimate supporter in Matt Millen because not only did you get one or two chances man you got a good three or four. How many other teams would have put up with that type of mediocrity from their QB for that long? Not many, so say what you want, but you got the chances and now you get the door. Sorry Joey, no hard feelings, but I am not sad to see you go, I really am not. I will miss the excuses, I will miss the drops, but I won’t miss the lousy QB play that has plagued the Lions for the past four seasons.

I heard a funny line on the radio the other day from a caller and he said that sending Joey to Miami is just our little way of saying thanks for Scott Mitchell… and believe me that is not a compliment! Good luck Joey, see you on Thanksgiving, thanks for taking the high road out of town and I for one will be giving thanks that you are on the opposite side line throwing passes into the turf and not on ours.

Lots of love – the sports dude.