Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:06 AM

Weekend Warrior - 10/14/05

Look who is back, did you miss me? Yeah, I know, there are only two readers anyway, but all the same, did you miss me? That is right folks; it is once again time for the all knowing of knowing nothing, that wacky, crazy weekend warrior post!

Penn State at U of M

The FBI, CIA and other special agents from the Department of Homeland Security have been ordered by the President of the United States to attend this game. What is the reason, you ask? Was there a threat to national security, a hostage crisis, some sort of terrorist threat? No, the President is just concerned because it appears that Penn State has somehow completely switched places with U of M, them being undefeated and the Wolverines being an embarrassment to the Big Ten. President Bush just wants to talk to Joe Paterno about where he got this magic power and if he can use JoPa to help him find those damn weapons of mass destruction.

Penn State 34, U of M 20 (yes, I am picking U of M to lose, get over it!)

Michigan State at Ohio State

Having a week off to think about it, the Spartans realize that the U of M game really was no big deal, they were awarded a free touch down and never should have been in OT anyway! Therefore, the thought of an emotional letdown is clearly out of their minds as they work to continue the journey on this clearly magical season. Problems continue to mount for sweater vest as he realizes that his offense is even too bad to exploit the lack of skill in the Spartans secondary. He also realizes that the once important game scheduled on November 19th has lost some of its luster because it will only determine who goes to Ford Field and not Pasadena. John L., in the mean time, is still miffed by the kicking game and decides to go out there and kick the damn ball himself in the second half.

MSU 34, OSU 24

Wisconsin at Minnesota

Can I just call this the battle of the carousel teams, as in both of them are in the rankings one week and the next week out? Fresh off of there brown jug victory, the Gophers wonder “Why the hell did we want this thing again?” They quickly realize they can fill it with water to help rain all over Barry Alvarez and his retiring parade.

Minnesota 45, Wisconsin 31

USC at Notre Dame

Look, I keep saying it and I will keep saying it until I am blue in the face… will someone please beat the damn Trojans already? Wait, what is that you say, they are playing Notre Dame this week? Well, never mind then, we can worry about someone beating them next week then! I hate Notre Dame and I preferred it when they were under .500 and insignificant, I think it was better for college football!

USC 56, Notre Dame 20

Now here it is, the moment you all have been waiting for, the place where I could have put the Wolverines/Nittany Lions match up because I can’t bear to watch the world end as the Wolverines fall under .500, the one, the only:


Georgia Tech at Duke

In honor of the preseason poll coming out this week for college basketball here we have an intriguing match up if it were in college basketball. Instead we are forced to watch this game between two schools who clearly should just stick to basketball instead.

Georgia Tech 12, Duke 2

Now, last but not least, the pro pick:

Carolina Panthers at the Detroit Lions

Troubles are a plenty here in Lions-Ville, with receivers dropping faster than Joey Harrington’s QB rating! The starters this week at WR appear to be Kevin Johnson and some guys’ fresh off the practice squad or those who also play on defense as well (Dre Bly and R.W. McQuarters). Regardless of who is at receiver the damn QB still can’t deliver a pass worth shit, now causing the Lions secondary to question Joey as much as his receivers do. Garcia can’t return quick enough and even in a cast I think he could throw for 97 yards! There is no hope in Lions-Ville nowadays, as their eyes start to turn towards the off-season, a new QB and parties on the Vikings yacht!

Carolina 27, Detroit 12.

That is all I got, see you all on Monday and remember, wherever you watch football to watch it safely! That is if you are a U of M or Lions fan put something in front of your expensive TV to stop bricks and shoes from penetrating the screen! Later – the sports dude.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 12:38 PM

Random thoughts.

Yes, I know, I have been rather lame lately and for my two faithful readers I apologize. I have been swamped by work, by school and a lack of time. Plus, there really has been little to blog about lately anyway. The Lions suck, U of M is in a tailspin, I could give two shits about hockey and the Tigers have been done for months now. Thankfully the Pistons are starting up so we finally have a real sport taking place in Detroit again! That being said, here are my quick random thoughts on the status of Michigan Sports.

Michigan State - the basketball team has a preseason rating of #1 which I am excited about. Even though I am a Wolverine fan, when it comes to basketball I prefer MSU. No, it has nothing to do with the fact that they are better and I am a bandwagon guy, it is more to do with my hatred of the U of M basketball program. I hated Brian Ellerbe and the fact he got hired for the wrong reasons and I hated how they treated the Fab Five, which by the way was the greatest thing to ever happen to NCAA Basketball, on the court at least. I do like Amaker, I think once recruits start coming to U of M he will right the ship, but it will take some time. But damn it, Ellerbe and the Fab Five mistreatment still piss me off! As far as the football team goes I hope they win out! I have said it before and I will say it again, the only game I want them to lose is the U of M game, so I wish them well the rest of the season. Besides, Michigan should at least have one good college football program and this weekend, please beat the damn Buckeyes!

Michigan - basketball ball was already talked about, I like Amaker and I think things are on the upswing. Football, however, appears to be on the downswing, who would have thunk it! First I want to get this out of the way, for all you Lloyd Carr haters out there shut the fuck up, you are not true Michigan fans! Piss off, go to hell and just shut your god damn mouths, it ain't Carr that is running this program into the ground this season! The Wolverines have what I call "Lions Syndrome" - you know, where every player you thought was going to help your team gets injured, you plug in with another player to replace him and then that one gets injured! Not an excuse, but a reality! In each game this season they have had a different offensive line, now it is the secondary that is dropping like flies! Henne is clearly in a sophomore slump, I mean how often do you hear the words "I wish he was playing like a freshman!" when you talk about a QB? Don't give me any of that Braylon Edwards crap either, the cat was good but their is still plenty of talent at receiver. Manningham is a stud, and to think that cat was not even suppose to crack the line up this year! Avant is a great possession receiver and Hart is running on one leg! There just has been no consistency anywhere with what seems like a different line up every week. Oh, and one last thing, Bo talks a little about the injuries and woes here.

The Tigers - well, as much as I loved Alan Trammell, I think Leyland was a wise decision. I tell you what, if Pudge, Dmitri Young or any Tiger would have pulled that shit and Leyland was the manager, see ya'!!!! Leyland seems to be putting together a nice staff that, most importantly, actually has experience at their positions in the majors. I think Tram will make a good manager someday, he really will, but he and his staff were just not ready yet. As far as moves are concerned, I say trade Pudge for whatever the hell you can get. Something tells me that there may be a couple of teams in New York, the Mets and the Yanks, that may be willing to wheel and deal this off season, so give them a call! After that, get a good work horse of a veteran pitcher to go with the young staff and see what happens. There will be a lot of movement, a couple of big trades and some shockers as well from CoPa this off season, I almost guarantee it!

The Lions - what a joke! Seriously, I have no problem with what Roy Williams is saying, does anyone else? Is it so hard for Lions fans to hear the truth? How many times do you have to see it, to hear it? JOEY HARRINGTON SUCKS, IS A BUST AND WILL NOT BE THE STARTER HERE FOR TOO MUCH LONGER!!!! The writing is on the wall people, read it and weep! How many different receivers have been in and out of here the past four years? How many times has the offensive line been tweaked? Running backs? What is the one constant there people? Harrington, that is what! I have had enough, the dude was overrated in college and should not have been taken that high! He is destined to be a mediocre back up somewhere in this league, nothing more, nothing less! The receivers don't trust him, the coaches don't trust him, therefore the offense looks a lot worse than it really is. Make no mistake about it, once Garcia is back Joey is done, plain and simple. Is that ideal? No, but even an old Garcia is better than this! This is Joey's fourth year and the only QB in the NFL with a lower rating than him is a rookie by the name of Kyle Orton! He is not progressing, he is regressing and it is not the coach, it is not the receivers, it is not the offense, it is him. Garcia will be the starter, Joey will be a clipboard guy (if he even has the skills to hold that!) and in the off season the Lions will go after someone like Jon Kitna to start while they groom Orlovsky along. Joey, please, get the hell out of here!

The Red Wings - yeah, whatever! You have until November 2 and then the Pistons start, so get ready to be #2 in this town bitches! Besides, the Pistons are going to advance in the playoffs, you guys will be lucky enough to get out of the first round!

The Pistons - thank god a real sport is starting again, finally something worth talking about! I think Darko will finally make strides this year, now that LB is off his damn back! Delfino should be huge and this Maurice Evans looks like another one of those famous Joe Dumars gems! Not going to get into it too much here, I will do a season preview before opening night, but I don't see anything yet that tells me Detroit and Indiana won't square off in the Eastern Conference Finals.


This is great, seriously this is great! I tell you what, if I ever saw this man in a dark alley and it was just me and him, I would run like the wind and cry like the biggest baby! Seriously, this man is mentally ill, psychologically challenged, out in left field, however you want to put it, he is just whack! Read the article.

Man, if all boating trips were like this, I probably be a more avid sea going man! Get me a boat and let me sign up for one of these trips baby! I thought Moss was bad, but it sounds like the real "bad boys" are still there! Read the article, I am off to get a boating license!

Well, that is all I got for now, godspeed and I will be back tomorrow with the weekend warrior post baby! Peace and ships ahoy, me maties!! The Sports Dude.

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