Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, January 13, 2006 at 11:38 AM

Weekend Warrior - NFL Divisional Playoffs Edition

It is no longer Wild Card Weekend; it is now officially time to separate the contenders from the pretenders. I know, that is a rather cheesy opening line, but I feel like crap today so bear with me, it was the best I could come up with. The sports dude sported a nice little 3-1 record last weekend so hopefully my luck will continue this week as well. Before I get to my picks let me say this though, aren’t you all glad that we don’t have to watch a Chicago/Washington match up this weekend? Could you imagine what an all out snooze fest that game would be? It was bad enough having to stomach the Redskins and Bucs last weekend, thank goodness we don’t have to sit thru the Bears ands Skins because, believe me, it would be the same thing. Anyway, now that I have that out of my system, let me get to the games at hand this weekend in the NFL Playoffs.

NFC Playoff Games

Washington Redskins at Seattle Seahawks

Yes I know I am hard on the Redskins, but how can I not be. Did anyone watch that game with the Bucs and not want to vomit? Granted the Skins and Bucs have very good, physical defenses, but a little skill on the offensive side of the ball doesn’t hurt, does it? I give Joe Gibbs a lot of credit for righting the ship that Steve Spurrier all but sunk in Washington, but even he can not get past the Seahawks without a little more help from the offensive unit. Against the Bucs they gained a total of 120 yards of offense, an all time low for a playoff winning team. What, do they think they are the Lions or something? Listen, Gibbs is one hell of a coach, I give him that, but he is not a miracle worker people. I think the defense will keep them in the game longer than they should be, but come the fourth quarter, the Seahawks will all but have the game wrapped up. Yes I know the Skins beat the Hawks in the regular season, but this is the playoffs now and the Skins got lucky last time, needing a missed field goal to force OT and squeeze out the victory.

Seattle 28, Washington 16

Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears

Well, the Bears won the Central Division and earned a first round bye and at least one home playoff game. What does that entitle them too? Nothing besides what I just typed, that’s what! Of all the teams left in the playoffs I think they are the weakest by far, only a step below the Redskins. In fact, the only reason I give the edge to the Skins is because of Gibbs, otherwise both of these teams would be together at the bottom of the barrel. I gain understand that the Bears defense is one of the best in the game, but the Panthers defense is nothing to shake a stick at either. I also expect the Panthers to still be feeling the sting (both literally and figuratively speaking!) from the hurting that was put on them by the Bears earlier in the season. I expect this to be a relatively low scoring close game and I think the Panthers will pull it off in the end.

Carolina 21, Chicago 17

AFC Playoff Games

Pittsburgh Steelers at Indianapolis Colts

I hate picking against the Steelers; I really do, because I grew up watching football with my grandpa and rooting for the Steelers in my youth. (Hey, it’s not like the Lions have ever given me much to root for anyway, so yes, I was a Michigan born Steelers fan in my youth!) In fact last years Pitt/NE game was very tough for me, but I think my grandpa understood that I had to pull for my boy Brady all the way. But enough of that, let’s get on to this game. I have to say this, if I was going to pick an upset this week it would definitely be here because I think the Steelers are going to give the Colts a run for their money. The Steelers are coming off an emotional win and the Colts are coming off of some bye week “R & R”. But something tells me the home crowd will he the Colts shake off the rust, and the Steelers, before it is all said and done. I think the Steelers will play to get a little of their pride back from the whooping the Colts put on them earlier in the season, but pride only gets you so far as well. Sorry grandpa, your Steelers will give the Colts a game, but in the end it still will not be enough.

Indianapolis 27, Pittsburgh 21

New England Patriots at Denver Broncos

Well folks, here it is, if you ask me this is the best game out of the bunch and you always save the best for last right? Yes these teams squared off earlier in the season with the Broncos winning 28-20, even though the score is closer than this game really was. However, there are two things to consider when looking at that and they are the facts that the Pats team is not the Pats team playing now and secondly, do the Pats ever lose in the playoffs. Come on, you have two seconds to answer this question, Jake Plummer or Tom Brady? Didn’t even take you the full two seconds did it? Also, don’t you think that Belichick was already scheming for this game long before the Jacksonville game even started? Even though the Broncos are at home, and even though he has played much better this season, Jake Plummer has a way of disappearing in big games and doing some really stupid s@#t, if you catch my drift! Besides, until someone beats Brady, Belichick, or the rest of the Pats I am not going to pick against them. Look, the Pats are over their early season woes, are rolling, and I don’t see the train stopping until… well, check back next week and I let you know if I think they can beat the Colts or not.

New England 31, Denver 17

Well, there you have it folks, another day and another round of my best, most (un)educated guesses for the NFL Playoffs. As always I wish you a safe and happy weekend of footballing, drinking and all out couch potato enjoyment. Come back next week when, if I am right, we will be discussing the Pats against the Colts and the Hawks against the Panthers. Until next time be safe, stay well and thanks for reading, Godspeed, the sports dude.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 at 12:51 PM

Shield your eyes! Women in bikini's! Stop devil stop!

This is the third opening for this post because, quite frankly, I am not too sure what to even say or where to go with this. If you all are not aware of it by now the Detroit Pistons are being pressured by the Michigan Decency association (or whatever their cult is called!) to pull the calendar of the shelves for what they claim is pornographic. Well here is what the sports dude thinks of that.

How the hell can you call that calendar pornographic, what the hell are you talking about? I mean do you people not go to the beach in the summer? Forget the beach, how about a water park or even a public pool for Christ sakes? What do you guys wear, sweat suits and full body armor? To call that pornographic is ridiculous, asinine, stupid, dumb... You get the point. Quite frankly the only thing indecent about the whole damn thing is the fact that this organization is attacking it and that is the truth.

In fact there is even a quote in the article about one of the accusers calling this calendar prostitution, what the hell is that? Are the Pistons standing on street corners or in dark alleys selling these things to men after hours? No they are not, in fact, they require ID checks by the retailers selling these things just to make sure the purchaser is at least 18 years of age. By doing so, as Tom Wilson states, is not conceding that this is pornographic but rather a way to make sure that under age teens don't go home with something they shouldn't. Look, I have no problem with that and furthermore, being the father of three young boys myself, realize that going to a pool, beach or even a water park means they are going to see a lot worse than what is in those calendars if you ask me. Plus they are going to see it live, which again leads me to this question a second time... Do these people go to beaches? Forget beaches, do they leave their freaking houses?

Look, if I were the cheerleaders, I would sue that bitch that calls this calendar "prostitution" for slander, I really would. Basically she is calling everyone of those ladies a cheap 50 cent whore, which I think we all know they are not. Furthermore they are not even doing this for the money, which is usually what prostitutes are doing this for right? The money, except that which is required to cover the cost of making the thing, is all going to local charities that the Palace supports. Does that sound like prostitution to you? I mean how many hookers do you know (me personally the answer is zero, but I assume they are all the same!) that give away their earnings to charitable foundations after a good nights work? Unless you count the pimp, and again I say Tom Wilson is no pimp here, I don't think those hookers are giving up too much of their "hard" earned money, no pun intended.

Look, I have no problem with these so called "decency" organizations when they fight the good fight but clearly this is not one of those situations. If I walked into a video store and saw porno flicks sitting next to the Disney section I would be outraged. However, they keep those things behind closed doors... Or so I have been told, I have never actually seen anything behind those closed doors, I swear! If I walked into a 7-11 and saw a porno mag right next to the Sunday paper I would be pissed, but they keep those things somewhere behind the counter and covered up. Again those are the good fights, those are the ones that are worth getting offended over, but this, especially calling it pornographic and prostitution, come on!

Look, trust me on this, I have been to "family" orientated water parks like "The Great Wolf Lodge" and beaches with my kids, etc., over the last couple years and I have seen things far more "indecent" then that on people at these places. The bottom line here is this, it is up to me as a parent to teach my young sons that women are not objects, they are to be respected. It is organizations like this that try to take the fight to the wrong arenas, take it out of the parents hands and put it on their own shoulders. All I have to say to you is this... piss off, you are only making matters worse. By doing what you are doing, to me, is insulting me and telling me I am not a good parent, that you do not trust me to raise my children right. Trust me when I say to you that I feel it is far worse to make people look away from this stuff, it gives them a complex and only worsens us as a society. Why should we be so afraid of the human body, of a little skin, or (dare I say it?!?!) a little nudity? Do I want my young boys looking at porno, hell no! However my sadly mistaken little organization this is not porno, it is simply a calendar with photos that could have been taken by any "family" at anytime at any given trip to any given beach anywhere in this country. Leave the morals, leave the raising my children and all that other parenting stuff to me and go find something else to call indecent like say, you know, actual porn! It is you that I feel sorry for, it is you that I think needs to get out of the house more and it is you whom, to put it bluntly, that I feel needs to get a life.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 at 3:43 PM

More on this tomorrow...

I am up against a deadline today, sorry, so I will have to touch on this tomorrow. Anyway, the Pistons are under fire for their "pornographic" Automotion calendar. Here is the link and when time permits I will write on this tomorrow. Later - the sports dude.

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