Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, September 09, 2005 at 2:51 PM

Some new stuff.

In honor of my boys in maize and blue, I added a little picture of the famous block "M" to the site. It was something I had been meaning to do for awhile, but kept forgetting. Fortunately the Olde English D is gone, seeing how it is sad and embarrassing to have that anywhere nowadays.

Lastly I have discovered another blog that I have taken quite a liking to, "It's J Hill's World", and have added the link to my "friendly blogs" section in the side bar. She is none other than Jemele Hill of the Detroit Free Press fame. It is very refreshing to see a professional writer take the cuffs off and just be a person, free from the chains that they are bound to by the newspapers. I am still in negotiations with her to add my link to her side bar, so I will keep you posted on that one.

Well, I am off, got to get my rest on so I am good to go for some good old fashioned tail gating tomorrow at the Big House, peace! The sports dude.

at 11:04 AM

Weekend Warrior.

It's that time again folks, some more laugh out loud "funnery" and more wacky predictions from the one, the only, the weird ass Weekend Warrior! New feature this week, I have added my pro pick at the end, in honor of our favorite junior varsity team, the Detroit Lions.

Notre Dame at U of M

Having realized that U of M has no way to stop anything that has two legs and the ability to run, Lloyd Carr promptly reminds Irish Coach Charlie Weis that the only reason he has that job and the three Super Bowl rings is because of a QB that he helped develop in college. Weis agrees to let up a little, but not until he blinds everyone in the Big House with the reflection of the three “blings” he is wearing on his fingers.

U-M 42, Notre Dame 38

Temple at Wisconsin

After running rabid on MAC powerhouse Bowling Green, things don’t get any easier on the “Barry Alvarez Powder Puff Retirement Schedule”, with another perennial BCS contender like Temple coming to town. Alvarez decides at halftime he has seen enough, so he retreats to the press box to start breaking in his rocking chair for next season.

Wisconsin 51, Temple 9

Akron at Purdue

Purdue, after bribing the Big Ten into giving them one of the easiest schedules of all time (please see no U of M, no Ohio State), replaces one powerful Ohio team (said Buckeyes) with another powerful Ohio team (said Zips – seriously, their team name is the Zips? Come on!!!!). Later in the year they did a similar thing, replacing one powerful Michigan team (said Wolverines) with a weaker Michigan team (please see Lansing and Spartans for more information).

Purdue 41, Akron 13

Iowa at Iowa State

This one is actually a pretty good match up, at least in my opinion. That being said, I think I may turn off the jokes for a second here and just let it be. Interstate rivalries or rivalry games in general, are always a tight thing to call. Good game, to say the least, but I will stick with the Big Ten team here.

Iowa 27, Iowa State 21

Hawaii at Michigan State University

The Battle of the Video Tape!!!! The loser has decided to give the victor an all expense one year subscription an online video rental company of its choice. Two spread offenses, two terrible defenses equal one hell of a shoot out. But, unfortunately for all you Spartan fans out there, something will happen this week you are all too familiar with – they will fall asleep! Looking ahead to next week, yet again, the Spartans are all ready thinking about the Leprechaun instead of worrying about the Rainbow this week that the little green man is sitting under.

Hawaii 56, MSU 42

South Carolina at Georgia

Seriously, I am going to be a junior high kid here for a second, because I could have fun with this all year and, quite frankly, for years to come! The biggest cock in college sports, one Steve Spurrier, is the head coach of the Cocks (Gamecocks that is, but close enough). I still am waiting to see Spurrier on the sidelines sporting one of those “Cock” baseball caps on his head.

Georgia 38, South Carolina 24

The Citadel at Florida State University

Well, what the heck do you expect, these are after all Florida schools and they always play the toughest schedules in the nation, do they not? After barely getting by Miami last week, the Seminoles decide to take it easy with the Football Forces from The Citadel. Bobby Bowden awakens from him coma long enough to see the route completed.

FSU 63, The Citadel 10

Texas at Ohio State University

Crap, this is actually a really damn good game folks, let me tell you something! The Sweater Vest himself against Mack Brown. Two storied programs, both ranked in the top five, meeting this early in the season with National Championship implications. I have to admit, as a Wolverine fan, I am mixed about this game because we need both teams to lose at least one game. That being said, Texas always seems to choke up against Oklahoma, so their loss will come later in the year. Sorry Buckeyes, but I hate you more!

Texas 31, OSU 27

And finally, the long awaited feature that I am most proud of and I am sure you are anticipating, the:


Cincinnati at Penn State

Joe Pa, showing signs of his old age and growing senile ways, shows up to the game in his slippers and pajamas. While on the sidelines he suddenly decides to lie down on a bench and proceeds to take a nap. Concerned that the coach has actually passed on, the game is delayed for more than an hour while EMS tries to awaken him. After being roused and refusing further medical attention, the coach angrily states that just because his football program has died doesn’t mean he has as well, the first sane thing he has said in five years.

Penn State 9, Cincy 6


Of course, you know I can not ignore the junior varsity team in town, our one and only Detroit Lions and their season opener at Ford Field against the Green Bay Packers. Brett Favre shows his age, but still looks better than Joey anyway! Kevin Jones helps save the offense with an impressive game on the ground, Charles Rogers catches a TD pass and keeps his collar bones in one piece, and the defense does just enough to not lose the game.

Detroit 27, Green Bay 24

I will be down at the Big House this weekend, tail gating, drinking, having fun and drinking some more! As always folks, be responsible, I want to make sure all three of my readers, including myself, return next week. Go Blue and see you next week my hearties, good bye and god speed! The sports dude.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 at 2:58 PM

Thoughts on the upcoming Lions season.


That was my original prediction for the upcoming Lions season, this was going to be the year where it all came together and the pieces finally performed and made sense. However, something last week made me change my mind and what was once an optimistic view is now one of uncertainty and the usual “Lions Funk”. What was it Sports Dude, what was it exactly that made you change your mind last week? Oh, that’s right, you are a Joey hater, certainly you are speaking of Jeff Garcia going down because you felt he was the one that was going to help right the ship, am I right? Well, as unfortunate as that injury is, that is not what made me change my mind, I am afraid. What made me go totally 180 was none other than the debacle that was seen to a nation wide audience on Monday night, the embarrassing butt-whooping put on us by the St. Louis Rams. A little ironic, if you ask me, that the last time we were on Monday night was against the Rams and that game had an eerily similar result, another Monday Night Football butt-whooping. So, just for future reference here guys, if you ever get invited to play another Monday Night game, please inform the league that you would prefer it to be against someone not from St. Louis and not named the Rams.

Make no mistake about it, the Lions have all the tools to succeed in the NFL, compete for the divisional title and, at bare minimum, a damn Wild Card spot. But folks, let us be realistic here, all the “paper” talent in the world ain’t going to do a lick of good if it doesn’t gel and/or perform on the football field. The Lions have a promising young back in Kevin Jones, who led the NFL in rushing in the second half of last season. But what good is a talented running back if your offensive line can’t open any holes? There was only one back I have ever seen, maybe you are all familiar with his work, and that is Barry Sanders, that could perform behind a make shift line. Sorry Mr. Jones, but you aren’t a Barry Sanders, so you are kind of screwed on that one. Furthermore, the Lions have probably the most promising and talented group of receivers this side of the Mississippi, but what good are they if the QB can’t get enough time to deliver the ball to them. Yes, I know, I could have ripped Joey there and said something like what good is all the talent in the world at receiver if your QB sucks. However, I am actually going to refrain from Joey bashing in this post for one reason and one reason only – without him there really is no hope, no hope at all.

Look, if you have been a frequent reader of this blog for the past year or so (all three of you, myself included) you know I have very little love for one Joey Ballgame. That being said, sorry folks, but Jeff Garcia was not going to be the answer for you this year at QB, even if he wasn’t injured right now. Yes, I know a few months ago I pushed for Garcia on this site, even said things along the lines of “give Joey three games and then give me some Garcia!” but that was before I saw the dude up close and in a Lions uniform. I still thought he was the “San Fran” Jeff, not the “Past His Prime” Jeff that we have seen this preseason. Look, there is no other way this year but to sink or swim with Joey, the Lions have no choice. Why? Simply put, if he fails we are back to square one again at QB, plain and simple. If Joey falters and Garcia (when he recovers) comes back and is inserted into the line up, that means next year we are back to rebuilding mode for a QB on this team. I like Dan Orlovsky; I think he has a chance to be a decent QB someday, but not yet and especially not this year or next for that matter. He needs to be given time to learn and grow on the sidelines, something Joey (unfortunately) never got. So, sink or swim, do or die, if Joey has a bad year then we, as Lions fans, go down with him and look towards next season, yet again, as a fresh start at QB. For all the negative things I have said about him, for all the rips I have thrown his way, I love my Lions and I hope he has even a decent year because as he goes the Lions go. Why just a decent year Sports Dude, why not a great year? Simply put we don’t need a pro bowl QB; we just need an efficient one to get us into the playoffs, nothing more, nothing less. That being said, I wish Joey the best of luck because he needs it and we, as Lions fans, need it as well.

I really don’t know what else to say about it other than “Where do we go from here?” Simply put, I don’t know if I have a rock solid answer or a clue about that. If I had to make a guess on a final record I could honestly see anywhere from a 7-9, 8-8, to even a shot at a 9-7 finish. Is that good enough to get us into the playoffs? With a weak NFC all across the board I say the chances are good, but anything less than the playoffs this year will be unacceptable.

The defense needs to start actually being aggressive, I can not stand Dick Jauron and his “bend but don’t break” crap. I keep hearing about the speed at linebacker, the athletes we have there, well then damn it, show me! Blitz the living hell out of the opposing team with some of that speed, some of that athleticism. We keep hearing about how stacked our secondary is, well then damn it send the blitzers, if the secondary is really as good as the Lions claim, then they should be able to hold their own in coverage if we blitz a couple extra guys. All this depth we have in the front four, show me, start knocking some heads around, put the QB on his butt, just show me some of this defense that I keep hearing about!

The offense, whether Mooch likes it or not, has to trust Joey, I mean there really is no other way. Mooch has to be willing to open it up a little bit, give Joey the opportunity to succeed and let loose of the damn leash a little. Go down field, show me some screen passes, show me some creativity, just freaking show me something! But if Mooch continues to doubt Joey then how can we truly know what this kid can or can not do? He is all the Lions have this year at QB, so it is damn time to let loose the reigns and just let the kid play some football. If he succeeds at it then great, the Lions finally have their answer at QB and maybe, just maybe, a playoff berth this season. But if he fails at least you can say it was because he just didn’t have it, whatever it is, once he was given the chance to air it out a little. But if Mooch refuses to give Joey a chance we may never know exactly what this kid has. He has to let Joey play this year, plain and simple, because there is no tomorrow for any of them if the kid fails.

Look that is really all I got for the time. Football starts again tonight, for real, when the defending champion New England Patriots take on the new look Oakland Raiders. Personally it has been a long time waiting for this day and I for one am damn excited that football has returned to the television. So, I ask you one final question, are you ready for some football?!?!

Later – the sports dude.

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