Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, March 17, 2006 at 3:38 PM

Man, Thursday was the best day ever!!!!

Not only did the Lions finally get to the point with Joey that I have been waiting for since about three years ago, the hot chick really made my day last night!

See, last week she was not in class, she was off performing with the dance/cheerleading team at some event for the school, it was either a competition or a sporting event they needed to be at, whatever it was the point is it is HOT!!!! Anyway, so she missed me in class last week with the two crutches, but I am still forced to use one for at least another week. Anyway, so she sees me hobble into class and the second best thing I heard all day came out of her mouth...

"Oh my god, how are you? How is your knee? You know, I thought about you over spring break and was hoping you were all right. How are you feeling? How did it all go?"

Now, some of that is paraphrased, but the key part that is true and quoted direct are the sweet words "I thought about you over spring break"; it felt like that scene in Jerry McGuire and all I wanted to say was "You had me at hello!" So there you have it folks, your weekly hot chick update, and it the words of Cartman "As if we care!"

Wait a minute sports dude, you said that the hot chick thinking of you over spring break was second place to the news that Joey is all but gone? Yes, yes I did... tells you how much Joey has disgusted me since they drafted his overrated ass! It was a close second, but still second to that!

Have a nice weekend, I will talk to you all Monday - now go drink some green beer! The sports dude.

Thursday, March 16, 2006 at 1:16 PM

Breaking News... Lions sign McCown!!!!

Here is the ESPN link, first of all.

Second, the little letter below now officially seems worth wild!

Third, my prayers have finally been answered... Joey is gone! Only about three or four years too late, but hey, who's counting!

Fourth, is Kitna going teach McCown? Is McCown going to make Kitna back him up, ala Carson Palmer style?

Fifth - did I mention that I am EXTREMELY FREAKING HAPPY right now? Finally, no more wet bag of shit gatorade boy throwing passes into the dirt, ala Andre Ware style!

Sixth - have a good day - the ecstatic sports dude.

at 10:43 AM

Dear Joey.....

Dear Joey –

I just wanted to send this letter and let you know that I feel your pain and to let you know that you are not alone. I know what you are going through, as a fellow athlete, and just wanted to let you know that there is someone else out there that feels the same things inside as you… the hurt, the anger, the betrayal, the emptiness. All of those things are natural Joey, there is nothing wrong with feeling that way, I myself experienced the same emotional highs and lows as you and I just wanted to make sure you know that I am here for you if you need me in this dire hour you now face.

See, I came to Detroit with the same expectations, the same feelings of joy and warmth filled me as it once filled you. I know what it is like to be a high draft pick, to come to a team that looks at you as “the cornerstone of the future” and to be the darling of the media and fans for awhile. When I first got here people were screaming my praises, saying that I would be the next “great one” for my franchise as well, but things didn’t stay the same for long. Yes, everyone knew that I was going to be a project, just like you, but I kept hearing big words like “upside” and “potential” and just played along, much like you I am sure. Forget about the fact that my English was not that good, again much like you, forget the fact that those words seemed big to me, again just like you, everyone said it was going to be okay, that my time would come, just be patient. Eventually, they all said, those big scary words would come true, I would play up to my “potential” and my “upside” would be seen by all, I am still not sure that those words mean much to me, but I just wanted to play. See, I know you are confused right now, just like I was for some time, but the bottom line is I never stopped believing in myself, I knew I could be a valuable asset to some team in my league, just like I am sure you feel that you could be a valuable asset to some team in the NFL. I just wanted to let you know that the most important thing is you can never stop believing in yourself, even if everyone around you (from teammates to fans to management) stops believing just never quit on yourself.

Joey, I know it is tough right now, I have watched you play and I know it was other peoples fault. People will say you are just being a baby, a little whiny bitch, but sometimes those things you complain about are true. Forget about the time you blamed the wind on your inability to throw a pass that didn’t hit the turf, maybe it was windy that day. I don’t know, I wasn’t there, I was to busy pouting myself. Forget about the fact that you constantly throw behind your receivers, or to far in front of them, or even over their heads, just tell yourself they are too slow or too fast. See Joey, the key is to keep doing what you have been doing… remember, it is never YOUR fault but always someone else’s. Forget about the fact that people say you throw like a girl, or that you look like you want to shit your pants in the pocket sometimes, tell them things like “girls can throw to” or blame it on the bad Mexican you ate the night before the game, again remember it is not your fault. Forget about the fact that everyone questions your accuracy; again just say that your receivers aren’t athletic enough to catch passes that are out of their reach. Also, don’t forget all the drops they had when you did, on rare occasion, actually hit them in the numbers or the hands, many will say the receivers were actually shocked you hit them there and that is why they dropped it! Screw that man, just tell them it was because you have a cannon for an arm and the divas couldn’t handle the laser! See, now that sounds cool man!

I would just like to close by saying that there is nothing wrong with asking for a fresh start and a bus ticket out of town, I did it and it worked wonders for me! I mean, I may still be riding the pine, but at least I play every game in garbage minutes as opposed to once a month garbage time, but the weather down here is so much better. Just one word of advice, if you go to a sunny city, pack some sun screen… I learned that one the hard way! I also hope they trade you for more than they did me, all I got for my old team is an injured expiring contract and a first round pick in the year 3000! Maybe they will get some towels for you or even a towel boy with the towels for that matter! Crap, maybe even a Gatorade bucket or some footballs and a beer vendor! I joke, I am sure they will get something for you in return; every team needs a back up QB on their roster right? Well, if you have any questions or just want to vent I will leave my cell phone number at the bottom of this letter in case you want to chat. I hope you use it, I think if we talk through this we may be able to help each other out in this difficult time in our careers. I hope to hear from you and I will close by saying that at least you didn’t have to play for Larry Brown… that man made me cry at least twice a week! What a doo-doo head he was! Well, good luck and hope to hear from you soon!


1-321-555-BUST (my cell #, as promised!)

P.S. – tell Charles to give me a call, he may need this advice as well!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 at 11:24 AM

The sports dude returns...

Ladies and gentlemen, well again I say I suppose just gentlemen, I am back and ready to start posting again! Can I get a "whoop-whoop"?!?! All right, maybe there is not that much fanfare over it, but I did miss this place. Unfortunately for me I am not only behind in the blogosphere, I am behind at work as well, but then again has that stopped me before? Hell no, I still will find a few moments to blog here and there, and the here is now, so let us begin!

I thought about recapping the events that took place while I was out, but really why bother? Is it really all that important to talk about the "shocking" news that Barry Bonds, once again, is being reportedly linked to steroids? Or that he dressed in drag? Or either? Does it really matter, in the grander scheme of things? To me, I say no, so let us recap some of the more recent and important stuff.

The Pistons seem bored, can you blame them? I hope they refocus here and start playing better in their last 20 games, can you believe they have only 20 left already? It is all but certain they have the #1 seed locked up in the East, but they need to focus on the #1 overall, that is huge. Dallas and San Antonio are both on their heals, I think at last check they were only a couple games off in the win-loss column (Detroit is at 50-12, which is two games up in the loss column on SA and Dallas, 50-14 each) and that #1 seed in the Finals would definitely be nice. It should come down to the final weeks of the season and I hope the Pistons realize this and finish with a strong stretch run.

The Tigers seem to be fairing rather nicely so far in spring ball, but spring ball and the regular season are two different things. I still like the looks of Shelton, Polanco, Guillen, Inge, Pudge, Monroe, Granderson, Maggs and I guess Young at DH. The pitching staff of Rogers, Bonderman, Maroth, Robertson and what looks like Verlander is okay, better than what was there last year! The biggest thing will be getting Maggs and Guillen for a healthy, full season and keeping Pudge from putting his head up his ass again! I still don't think this team is ready for a playoff run, even the wild card just yet, but just give me a couple games over .500 and some sound baseball and I will be happy.

The Lions have signed some guys, from keeping KR Eddie Drummond and DE Kalimba Edwards, to bringing in TE Dan Campbell, WR Korey Bradford, QB Shaun King and QB Jon Kitna. Look, we all know that I am not a Joey supporter, but I think the writing is on the wall here folks... He is as good as gone. Either the Lions are going to try and trade him for something (can you say maybe a towel boy or a gatorade bucket?) to simply just releasing him. I think the Kitna signing all but solidifies it folks. Either they are going to sign one more QB, like a young Josh McNown, to play behind Kitna and learn or they are going to draft a QB and, much like Kitna did for Carson Palmer in Cincy, have Kitna pave the way for said drafted QB. I just think that Marinelli and Martz both want "their guy" here to learn under Kitna and I also feel that Joey just doesn't want to be here anymore. Here is a link to a MLIVE article by Tom "the Killer" Kowalski about that subject exactly, the fact that Joey is the one that wants out this time. Not that I blame Joey, I think he finally realizes that he can not win over that locker room ever and if, as Martz puts it, they are going to "strip him down and make him relearn everything about being a QB" then he may as well get stripped down some place totally new. I think what the Lions do in the next few weeks as far as if they persue any other QB's or what they do in the draft will indicate what they are going to do with Joey. The thing is they have plenty of time, it is not until June that they owe him a $4 million roster bonus, so there is no rush... That is about 2-3 months before they must decide to keep him or cut him or trade him. You all know my opinion, trade him for a beer vendor, who is more valuable, but let's see how it plays out.

That is it for now, I am back and ready to start driving you all crazy again! I would like to say thanks again for your continued "checking in" and your concern, I am down to one crutch already and by next week it should be zero! Thanks again guys and, for the sake of sounding sappy, yes I did miss this place and all of you! Later - the sports dude.

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