Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Look who is back, did you miss me? Yeah, I know, there are only two readers anyway, but all the same, did you miss me? That is right folks; it is once again time for the all knowing of knowing nothing, that wacky, crazy weekend warrior post!

Penn State at U of M

The FBI, CIA and other special agents from the Department of Homeland Security have been ordered by the President of the United States to attend this game. What is the reason, you ask? Was there a threat to national security, a hostage crisis, some sort of terrorist threat? No, the President is just concerned because it appears that Penn State has somehow completely switched places with U of M, them being undefeated and the Wolverines being an embarrassment to the Big Ten. President Bush just wants to talk to Joe Paterno about where he got this magic power and if he can use JoPa to help him find those damn weapons of mass destruction.

Penn State 34, U of M 20 (yes, I am picking U of M to lose, get over it!)

Michigan State at Ohio State

Having a week off to think about it, the Spartans realize that the U of M game really was no big deal, they were awarded a free touch down and never should have been in OT anyway! Therefore, the thought of an emotional letdown is clearly out of their minds as they work to continue the journey on this clearly magical season. Problems continue to mount for sweater vest as he realizes that his offense is even too bad to exploit the lack of skill in the Spartans secondary. He also realizes that the once important game scheduled on November 19th has lost some of its luster because it will only determine who goes to Ford Field and not Pasadena. John L., in the mean time, is still miffed by the kicking game and decides to go out there and kick the damn ball himself in the second half.

MSU 34, OSU 24

Wisconsin at Minnesota

Can I just call this the battle of the carousel teams, as in both of them are in the rankings one week and the next week out? Fresh off of there brown jug victory, the Gophers wonder “Why the hell did we want this thing again?” They quickly realize they can fill it with water to help rain all over Barry Alvarez and his retiring parade.

Minnesota 45, Wisconsin 31

USC at Notre Dame

Look, I keep saying it and I will keep saying it until I am blue in the face… will someone please beat the damn Trojans already? Wait, what is that you say, they are playing Notre Dame this week? Well, never mind then, we can worry about someone beating them next week then! I hate Notre Dame and I preferred it when they were under .500 and insignificant, I think it was better for college football!

USC 56, Notre Dame 20

Now here it is, the moment you all have been waiting for, the place where I could have put the Wolverines/Nittany Lions match up because I can’t bear to watch the world end as the Wolverines fall under .500, the one, the only:

“MOM DO I REALLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS GAME” – Game of the Week:

Georgia Tech at Duke

In honor of the preseason poll coming out this week for college basketball here we have an intriguing match up if it were in college basketball. Instead we are forced to watch this game between two schools who clearly should just stick to basketball instead.

Georgia Tech 12, Duke 2

Now, last but not least, the pro pick:

Carolina Panthers at the Detroit Lions

Troubles are a plenty here in Lions-Ville, with receivers dropping faster than Joey Harrington’s QB rating! The starters this week at WR appear to be Kevin Johnson and some guys’ fresh off the practice squad or those who also play on defense as well (Dre Bly and R.W. McQuarters). Regardless of who is at receiver the damn QB still can’t deliver a pass worth shit, now causing the Lions secondary to question Joey as much as his receivers do. Garcia can’t return quick enough and even in a cast I think he could throw for 97 yards! There is no hope in Lions-Ville nowadays, as their eyes start to turn towards the off-season, a new QB and parties on the Vikings yacht!

Carolina 27, Detroit 12.

That is all I got, see you all on Monday and remember, wherever you watch football to watch it safely! That is if you are a U of M or Lions fan put something in front of your expensive TV to stop bricks and shoes from penetrating the screen! Later – the sports dude.