Well, seeing how this is a sports blog, I guess I should "finally" post about this. Also, this is a slow day for me as far as sports opinions are concerned, so I guess I can post about it just to pass the time. Hockey, if I had to pick a sport to care about or watch, would be right up there with celebrity poker, 9-Ball tournaments on ESPN, the Great Outdoor Games, Badmitton and Celebrity Knitting. The point is this, I just really don't give a shit! In fact, I would bet that 75% of America doesn't even miss hockey, and the the 25% that does consists of the players, so that number is even stacked! Hockey is boring, slow, and quite frankly even more boring to watch than baseball for goodness sakes! The most exciting thing is the damn zamboni for christ sakes, does that tell you something about hockey people! I always say they should spice up hockey a little, make it more fun to watch! What you need is a hot blonde with a wet, see through white T-Shirt clinging to her ( the ice is cold, man what a sight! ) driving the zamboni. Then, leave the zamboni out there while the guys are playing so they have to avoid it. Plus, make it four on four so that there is room for the players and the zamboni, and give the zamboni a faster engine so that it can chase the players down. Otherwise, what the hell is the point of hockey! Here is the summary of every hockey game ever played - ready?!?! Skate, skate, skate, skate, skate, skate, shoot, clang, miss. Repeat that for three hours, throw in an occasional "SCORES!" instead of miss, and pick your final score - 2-1, 3-2, 1-0, etc. Where is the excitement in that! The only reason I miss hockey games at all is because I have nothing to put on my TV at night to help me fall asleep anymore.
I work with a guy who is a big hockey fan, there has to be the token hockey fan in every work place, just like the token Spartan fan, token Nascar fan ( another boring sport! ), etc. He went to this "Rumor" site this morning ( key word rumor ) and saw that, thru an internet based survey of hockey players, off their own "secret" web site that only hockey players know about and have "secret" passwords to, that hockey will return in January 2005 because the players all miss it and agreed to a salary cap. He got so excited I think he blew a nut or something, he yelled for me to come over to his desk and read the story - he knows I hate hockey, don't miss it, and I love to remind him everyday that hockey is gone. I pointed out quickly that it was a "RUMOR" site and, a "secret" hockey player only site with "secret" passwords? Come on, dude, what a dumb ass! What, do the players have "secret" tree houses somewhere, or "secret" bunkers with "secret" handshakes too? He was pissed that I made those points, pissed that I didn't believe the "rumor" site, and just pissed that I still make fun of hockey in general!
To close the conversation with him, he said to me "Come on, give me a break, can you even imagine a winter without hockey, what would we all do?". My response to him is that it would be the same as every other winter I have ever known, I didn't watch hockey then, so why would I miss something that to me, and 75% of the rest of America, never even existed anyway? Hockey is the least popular, the most boring, of the four major sports - Baseball, Football and Basketball being the others. Always has been, always will be, the ugly step sister left out in the cold - no pun intended!
Oh, the other thing I like to throw at him is this - he always talks about the Red Wings and I say "Who, they are a hockey team? The only Red Wing anything I know is this, and I always thought all those bumper stickers and car flags were just a tribute to how great the work boots are!" What can I say, I love to torture the dude!
Well, until next time, when I will touch on Joey Harrington and his lack of skills, Ron Artest and his rap album, and, as always, my weekend sport forecast - much love, godspeed, the sports dude!
Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.
Thursday, November 11, 2004 at 10:37 AM
NHL Lockout - who cares!
© the sports dude 2005 // Powered for Blogger by Blogger templates
