Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

To start or not to start, that is the question here? Do you go with blue skies (Joey), gray skies (Jeff) or new skies (Dan)? Damn it Lions, I was going to forget all about this bloody soap opera you created and talk about Larry Brown coming back to the Palace tomorrow but no, you do something stupid (shocking!) and now I have to talk about you again. Why the hell do you torture me so? Actually, now that I think about it, why the hell do you torture all of us?

There has been a long comment thread on my last post pertaining to the surprise news that came out of the Allen Park Compound yesterday, that news being that Jauron named Jeff the starter this Sunday. For the record, if I was coach, I would have either started Joey (yes Evan, I am being honest!) or started Dan Orlovsky, Jeff Garcia would have been relegated to Gatorade and Clipboard duty on the sidelines. However, since I am not Jauron I can only guess as to why the hell he did this and what the hell this lack of logic really means. As I stated before, if it makes no sense to us then it makes perfect sense in Allen Park, thus you have the definition of “Lions Logic.” On that note I would like to take a few minutes here to briefly dissect this bonehead decision made by Jauron and post what my guesses are as to the “why” behind this puzzling move.

Before I get into my guesses, let me say this, even though I have never been a Joey supporter I still would have started him. What do you have to lose? If the decision has already been made to part ways after this season then let him “gun sling” for five games and at least showcase what little skill he may have for trade purposes. Second I would like to say this, for all of issues I have with Joey I also have issues with our offensive line (or obvious lack there of!), our inability to get the running game going because of said shitty line and the desire to only let KJ touch the ball twice in a game and the fact that the receivers drop passes like they take the word “hot” in “hot route” too seriously. Just because it is a “hot route” doesn’t mean the ball is hot like in hot potato you jack asses – catch the ball! Oh, and by the way Roy Williams, when you catch a lucky bounce in a game that you are getting torched in and it goes for a TD, don’t do anything celebrating in the end zone, especially a pose type one (see “Little Buddha” for reference), it only makes you look like a bigger ass and diva then you already are! Alright, there you have it, I got all that out of the way and I will say this one last time – should Joey start? Yes. Has he been part of the problem? Yes. Are there other parts to the problem? Yes, the entire offense from players to scheme has been part of the problem, so now on to my guesses. Quick disclaimer – these are my guesses as to help me figure out this BS known as “Lions Logic” and not necessarily the views of this blogger.

The first thing I think of is this, Jauron was the teams’ defensive coordinator and the defensive players have been fed up with Joey all season long. In order to please “his guys” he started Jeff because he has been listening to the defense bitch about Joey all season long and probably some last year as well. Now that he is in the head coach position he is going to take all that bitching to heart and please the guys he has been responsible for since last year.

The second thing I thought of, and this one is extremely weak but it made me go “Hmmm…” at least is, for whatever reason, since him and Mooch are long time friends he is giving it back to the Lions and saying “You fire my buddy well I am still starting his guy over yours!” Stupid and weak, I know, but the thought did at least pop into my head. I mean, think about it, what is Millen going to do; fire Jauron two days later and name Olsen coach? Silly logic, but after all, I am trying to think like a Lion here!

Another thing I thought of was simply, for whatever reason, Jauron really feels that Jeff gives them the best chance to win. He is looking at this as a mini five game audition for not keeping this job next year (why he would want to is beyond me!) but an audition for other teams as well to show that he still can coach. Maybe he is just as sick and twisted as Mooch and feels that Jeff can still get something out of that already bone dry tank, I don’t know, maybe he is just demented and still suffering from shell shock.

Yet another thought that popped into my sick and empty skull is the “younger guys” that Millen was speaking of was the divas and KJ and even Millen has given up on Joey. Maybe this whole organization just feels that the best way to evaluate the guys that are all but certain to be here next year (KJ, Roy and Mike – I think Joey and Charles are gone!) is to put Garcia under center and to let KJ run the ball 25-30 times. Pound it, pound it, pound it and not let Jeff even think about going down field (which is good because he can’t anyway!), just keep Jeff in the short passing game and see if these receivers can break something. Beyond that I still see no reason to start Jeff, but these are just hunches here people!

The last one (and yes this is the last one!) is maybe this is some sick and demented game Jauron is playing with all of us – the fans, the QB’s, damn the whole team! Maybe he is starting Jeff for one game, maybe just one half, knowing full well that Jeff can not survive in Greg Olsen’s offense, but you know who can? Joey can! Maybe Jauron is just putting Garcia out there to show everyone that the tank is dry and that when Jeff fails in comes Joey and he performs well in an offense better suited for him. Talk about a role reversal here folks, Joey replacing Jeff, think about it! I mean, I know it is a mean trick to play, but damn I like it and damn I hope it is true. That is the only thing I can see happening that makes any sense to start Garcia over Joey this Sunday that is it! Put Jeff under the bus for a change and bring in Joey to right the ship for a change. All the pieces are there to do it, I mean why else make Olsen coordinator over Tollner? Jeff would fit better into Tollners’ scheme wouldn’t he, where as Joey looked pretty decent last year with Olsen calling the shots? Man that would be something, but then again, even though it is one hell of a mean trick, it would fit right in there with all I learned at “Lions Logic 101.”

Well, that is it people, I hope you enjoyed my madness and I hope we get some good comments on this as well. Yes Evan, I truly meant it when I said I would have started Joey or Dan, Jeff should simply be the Gatorade boy. That is as long as he doesn’t throw the cups 50 feet straight up into the air! On that note I say good-bye and yes soon we will talk about the return of the vagabond one, LB. Peace out, just like the Lions season – the sports dude.