Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, April 21, 2006 at 1:14 PM

A little Piston this, a little Red Wing that...

Well it is Friday and the “other” playoffs begin tonight, if you ask me and most folks out there the real playoffs don’t begin until Sunday. However to be fair to all of the people out there I took the time today to honor not only our Pistons but the Red Wings as well. Don’t get me wrong, I hope the Wings win, but believe me I won’t be watching; hockey is way too boring for me. So in honor of the teams here is a little comparison the sports dude came up with in my spare time here today at work – sorry boss!

The Wings have “The Joe”, a parking garage with seats.
The Pistons have the Palace, one of the premiere arenas in the league.

The Wings have cheesy ass slogans for the playoffs like “bring it” and “put your red on” or “turn that light off” or whatever.
The Pistons don’t need any extra slogans to draw people in and sell new t-shirts every year at playoff time, their greatness speaks for itself.

The Wings have Al Sabota (the zamboni guy’s name right?) and Mo’ Cheese.
The Pistons have Automotion, is it even a contest there people?

The Wings have stinky, slimy, rotten smelling octopus the fans throw on the ice.
The Pistons have Hooper, enough said.

The Wings have a recycled cup that has been god knows where with god knows who and had god knows what done to it. Do they ever sanitize the damn thing?
The Pistons have a nice, shiny, germ free and brand spanking new trophy at their disposal to win every year.

The Wings wear pads to protect them from the mean nasty boards and boo-boos.
The Pistons don’t need no stinkin’ pads! Ben simply wears a wrist band to protect himself from Shaq… but I bet Ben wouldn’t mind some pads if the Wings are offering!

The Wings grow playoff beards that they can’t wait to shave off when it is all over.
The Pistons have “Nappy ‘Sheed” whom is a fixture most of the year, playoffs or not.

The Wings have visors and some goalies that get creative and creepy with their masks.
The Pistons have Rip and his mask.

The Wings have fans that put embarrassing things on their heads like aluminum foil Stanley Cups & lug nuts from car tires that they claim transforms them into “Wingnuts.”
The Pistons have fans that put afros on their heads which are much more acceptable in today’s society and less likely to get you arrested or put into an institution.

The Wings play with a frozen urinal cake.
The Pistons play with a ball.

The Wings play a “sport” called hockey that’s name sounds more like something that comes up from my lungs when I have the flu than a name of a game.
The Pistons play basketball which is an obvious choice to name their sport.

The Wings have a mythical thing called “Hockeytown” which in turn they coined; marketed, ripped us all off and opened a café downtown in its honor.
The Pistons don’t need a marketing ploy like that although I am still trying to cash in myself and open up a bar called “Afrotown Café”, what do you think?

There it is, go Wings, go Pistons and have a nice weekend – the sports dude.

Anonymous Evan said...

In fairness to the Wings, the Pistons have plenty of their own goofy marketing things going.

The "Goin' to work" slogan and all the goofy jingles that come along with it come to mind.

While I have enjoyed watching the Pistons more than the Wings this year, especially thus far in the playoffs, I'll also say that the Stanley Cup is the coolest trophy in all of sports. Unsanitary, blah blah blah... The truth is that a trophy that people actually get to keep and touch and that has mountains of tradition and stories behind it is immeasureably cooler than a stereotypical shiny hunk of metal with a ball on the top.  


Blogger the sports dude said...

Ahhhh... Mr. Evan, don't get so grumpy, remember this was just suppose to be funny. I have even admitted as much to the one hockey fan at work here the Stanley Cup is the coolest of all the trophies given, I agree. It is, however, extremely ugly. The trophy for the NBA takes the cake as the ugliest by far though!

I think my favorite trophy is a toss up between the Lombardi and the MLB.

Please, do not be so angry man, I am a history buff and by far the Cup is the coolest with its history and tradition. Like I said, just trying to be funny.  


Anonymous Evan said...

I'm always grumpy. ;-)  


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