Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 at 10:19 AM

Rose Bowl Predictions.

Look, I am a U of M slappy, plain and simple. I love my maize and blue and am damn proud of what they accomplished this season. In fact, of all of Lloyd Carr's years as head coach, this by far was his best year as head coach hands down. Why? One simple word - freshman. And I am not just talking about playing a freshman here or there, I am talking about two freshman playing at quite possibly the two most important positions on offense - quarterback and running back. To come away with a winning record, a big ten title and a Rose Bowl berth, to me, that is coach of the year stuff, hands down. Mad props, lots of love, great job all around Lloyd - now for the predictions.

For the record, Texas has no right being in this game, that is the simple truth. It should have been Cal and I hope that the Wolverines will help show the Longhorns that they have no right even being in this game at all! They back peddled their way in because their head coach begged, pleaded, pissed, moaned and bitched his teams way in by crying to the media for votes. He succeeded and Texas got the nod over the traditional Pac-10 rival and a team that deserved it more than them, that team being Cal. Now I hope U of M shows them what it is all about, and that next time they want to cry their way into a bowl game they better earn it, they better deserve it and they damn better think twice before opening their mouths! And, for the record, thanks for all the bulletin board clips Texas, calling us too slow and disrespecting us every which way to Sunday! Needless to say, we will get the last laugh on the field come New Years Day.

Okay, seriously, now on to the predictions! I believe U of M will fall behind early, probably about 10-0 in the first quarter. The pressure of the Rose Bowl itself will show early on Henne, and he will look rattled and unsure of himself in the first quarter. But Hart will keep us in the game, running the Longhorns ragged, and soon Henne will calm down and decide to play in this game as well. Edwards will shine in his last collegiate game, raising his draft stock all the while. Hart will dominate the ground game, showing Texas' Cedric Benson that the role of "Outstanding Running Back" in college football is in good hands after he leaves following this season, his senior year. Here are my estimated stat lines for the Wolverines "Big Three";

Henne - 15 for 31 for 252 yards; 2 TD's and 1 INT.
Hart - 31 carries for 134 yards; 2 TD's and 5 catches for 43 yards.
Edwards - 7 catches for 113 yards and 1 TD.

Oh, and for the record, U of M will run Texas ragged, showing them just how "slow" the Big 10 is on offense and defense. Furthermore, the best trio of starting receivers in college football ( Edwards, Breaston and Avant ) will remind Texas they should keep their damn mouths shut before they call anyone slow again! Don't forget, you may have Benson, but we got Hart - and he ain't exactly a turtle you bitches! The four of them will have the Longhorns defense begging for oxygen, and the Wolverines defense will get to the quarterback, stuff the running game and keep Texas in check all night long. Sorry Texas, your fraudulent Rose Bowl appearance won't get over "fast" enough for you, and the only "slow" you will see is the Wolverines start of the game before their strong finish. My final score prediction is:

Wolverines 34, Longhorns 23.

See, Texas plays no one all year long. They played one decent team, an overrated Oklahoma, and lost 12-0 if I remember correctly. Texas is just as big a fraud as Oklahoma, trust me. Oklahoma, just like Texas, has no right being in the bowl game they got selected to! U of M should be playing Cal, USC should be playing Auburn, and I guess Texas and Oklahoma could just go play with themselves! Just like last year with Oklahoma, they had no right playing in that National Championship game either - it should have been USC against LSU. I hate the BCS and it needs to go, but that is another argument for another post, it would take too long to go into that now. Oklahoma and Texas will show themselves this year for the frauds they are, both losing the Bowl Games they are in because neither deserves to be there! The Sooners are frauds who play one big game all year, then surround it by playing 11 community colleges and high school teams. Sounds like some of the schools from Florida ( Miami, FSU and Florida ) if you ask me, but that is again another post for another time. But, while we are on the subject, here are my picks for the four big games in the BCS this year:

Rose - U-M 34, Texas 23.
Fiesta - Pittsburgh 38, Utah 35
Sugar - Auburn 33, Virginia Tech 13
Orange - USC 42, Oklahoma 20

And, for a bonus pick, the game most likely to be a shoot out and have a final score resembling that of a Pistons/Pacers playoff game:

Liberty Bowl - Louisville 61, Boise State 54.

Well, in closing I would like to remind you that the smell of roses is not meant to be tainted by the smell of cattle shit! Freaking Longhorns, luckier than a whore at a bachelor party! Well, until we meet again in 2005, when I look forward to sharing more of my wacky sports views and opinions with all of you! Remember to eat your beer and drink your food responsibly this New Years Night, I already have started, and I want what few readers I have to return in 2005! Be smart, be safe, be drunk, but be responsible and have fun! See you in 2005 - god bless, god speed, and happy new year - GO BLUE - the sports dude!

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