Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Thursday, May 12, 2005 at 10:05 AM

Reality check - stupid Pistons show up.

Someone help me out here, okay, I am not too good at math. Let's see, dating back to last years NBA Playoffs, the Pistons had won eight straight home playoff games. Last night they scored 33 points in the first half, then finished with 83 on the night. So that means, if you subtract 33 from 83 you get 50, right? Again, I am thinking out loud here, looking for help with this math crap. Then, taking that 50 and dividing by three, as in the other quarters not the first, the Pistons averaged 16.67 points per quarter the rest of the way. All I have to say about that is - what the crap?

Then, there is the "Great White Hope" factor here, and again I need your help. Who the hell is Jeff Foster? I mean, watching that game last night you would think Ben Wallace went to the Michael Jackson school of skin bleaching, shaved the afro and switched teams. Who the hell is Jeff Foster? I am only hoping that Ben Wallace will watch the film, store this in his memory and take it personal. Who the hell is Jeff Foster? Well, last night he embarrassed Big Ben and hopefully Ben will make sure that never happens again.

You know, to go off on a tangent here for a second, it kind of reminded me off last years playoff run and how, in each round, there was some whitey on the opposing team that spark a victory over the Pistons. In round one it was Toni Kukoc, round two it was Brian Scalabrinie, in round three it was Austin Croshere and in the Finals it was none other than Luke Walton himself. Now in round one this year there was no hope for the Sixers at all, whitey or not, but maybe now it is out of the Pacers system. If the Pistons get to the next round, who the hell is it going to be for Miami - Christian Laettner? How funny would that be?

Yes, in that last paragraph, I did type the words "if they get to the next round". Can you blame me for it? Look, the stupid Pistons showed up last night and look what happened? Now they have to go into Conseco and at least try and get a win somehow. You know what scares me about that? For the Pacers, this is the NBA Finals. For every single Pacer fan that goes to the game Friday night or Sunday afternoon, the only thing that matters to them is eliminating the Pistons. They don't care about getting to the Finals, although it would be nice. All the fans of Indiana want is to be the team that knocks the Pistons out of the playoffs. To them that reward would most likely be just about as sweet as a Championship, make no mistake about it. Now the Pistons have to go there and figure out a way to win at least one game, and if stupid Pistons show up, I am afraid we will return to Detroit for game #5 down 3-1. That is why last nights loss hurts more than I think the Pistons realize.

Well, I could go on about last nights game forever, but the longer I dwell on it the sicker I get. All I will say in closing is this - stupid Pistons - stay in Detroit, we want the World Champs to play this weekend in Indiana, not you. Lastly, I would like to add that you guys need to give Tayshaun the ball more - there is no one on Indiana that can guard him. He is too much for Stephen Jackson and Reggie Miller, so you guys need to feed him the damn ball. Oh, and by the way, someone please ask 'Sheed to post up more, Jermaine O'Neal can't check him. Later - the sports dude.

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