Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 at 9:02 AM

Playing catch up.

While I was gone, it seems I missed a lot of interesting things. I guess I will just take a few moments to discuss them and then move on for good.

Here are my nominations for the two people that just really need to shut the hell up and disappear - Jermaine O'Neal and Jose Canseco. Both of them really just need to be beat upside the head and get some sense knocked into them - if that is even possible!

Look, Jermaine, I am trying to not talk about the brawl anymore. It sickens me, disturbs me and I really just want to move on. However, your stupid hip-hop ass keeps bringing it up, talking about street cred and asking what would you do? Listen, the majority of NBA players would not have jumped into the stands. The majority of NBA players would not have sucker punched an old security guard. It takes a thug to act like a thug, and that is what you are - no more, no less. Hey, and for the record, Ben Wallace threw a wrist band at Ron Artest, after your coaches let him continue to talk shit, get in Ben Wallace's face and not go back to the bench - then lay down on the scorers table, talk live on the radio to most likely promote his CD and just taunt some more. I posted on it before and I say it again - the brawl was more the Pacers fault than the Pistons, think about that! You guys need to shoulder some of the blame too, and to say Ben Wallace did not get enough? He got a six game suspension buddy - when all he did was shove Artest in the face because Ronnie threw him a cheap shot. See, that in normal circumstances would have given Ben a one or two game suspension - he got six. I know you never went to college, but that is four extra games he got just because Stern had to give the Pistons something. You went into thug mode, Artest, Jackson and your teammates went flying into the stands like thugs, not the Pistons. And if you think that Ben throwing the wrist band made John Greene throw the beer, buddy, just go back to school you dumb ass. Done.

Jose Canseco - not going to talk about it too much. He is broke, he needs money, so now to him all baseball is juiced. I truly believe he did it, but I think there are some stories in there he is telling just to sell the book. I am not saying that baseball is "clean", but something tells me that Jose is stretching the truth a little. However, the story about him and McGuire in a shitter together, sticking needles in each other asses - that made me laugh out loud, I will give him that. Done.

Emmitt Smith retires - sorry, he was the ultimate stat whore and always will be second fiddle to Barry Sanders in mine, and most peoples, books. If Barry would have stayed he would have broken the record quicker than Emmitt without ever having a real offensive line. Emmitt always had the best line that money ( and coke ) could buy, along with some talented pieces named Troy Aikmen and Michael ( coke head ) Irvin. Lets see, Barry had Eric Kramer, Rodney Peete, Andre Ware, Scott Mitchell, Herman Moore was okay - he had no one! Sorry Emmitt, you got the record only because you never went away, thank god you finally are. Later stat whore - done.

Hey, one last thing - does anyone think Stern will reinstate Artest for the playoffs? Talk about street cred, Stern will lose all of his with me if he does. But if there is a chance, say the #2 seeded Pistons against the #7 seeded Pacers in the first round of the playoffs. Conspiracy Theory all over that - I could see him doing that in a heart beat. Stern is a money and ratings whore just like Emmitt was to stats, that has David Stern written all over it if you ask me. I could see it happening and I would not put it past Stern, but that is just me.

Well, that is all for now, the Pistons are back tonight against the Knicks, the Tigers are in Lakeland and football is still there thanks to the waiver wire! Hockey, well, I am just waiting for the next "season is saved" story to start up any second now. Later - the sports dude.

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