Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, November 04, 2005 at 9:49 AM

Weekend Warrior - 11-04-05

Yes sir, it is that time again, the moment that you have been waiting for since we last met a week ago, the laugh out loud pile of useless information that I am about to spew, the know it all of know nothing, the crazy, loopy and president of the Ron Artest straight jacket club, the weekend warrior!

Minnesota at Indiana

Could someone ask me if anyone actually cares about this game? Indiana looked good at the beginning of the season, but then the Big Ten Season started and Indiana realized that it does truly suck, no doubt about it. Minnesota, as usual, can not seem to get its act together for entire season, but they won the little brown jug for the first time in 100 years, so at least they got something.

Minnesota 34, Indiana 17

Iowa at Northwestern

This is a showcase of what many people are calling the best two QB’s in the Big Ten, Basanez and Tate. Northwestern came back down to earth last week, you know, when they played against a real defense for the first time all season. Iowa is coming off of the bye and looking forward to erasing the nightmare that still haunts them, losing at home for the first time since 1886. Funny, both of those nightmares were produced by the same team, the Wolverines, who this week have a bye themselves.

Northwestern 44, Iowa 37

Tennessee at Notre Dame

After signing a contract extension that will keep Charlie at ND until sometime in 2119, the Irish look to show all the people out there that this is not a racist thing, it is simply a “please don’t go back to the NFL” thing. Unfortunately for the Irish they suddenly decide to play like their former coaches team, you know the guy who got fired because the Irish are all racists? The players figure that if they play like crap once again it will show it was not a black or white thing but merely an overrated thing. Unbeknownst to Charlie the contract was signed in invisible ink prompting them to rethink this whole extension thing.

Tennessee 27, Notre Dame 24

Wisconsin at Penn State

Look, this game is too important to my Wolverines to joke about, so I will leave all the kidding aside. All right, I do have one joke, but I read it in the paper about this game so it is not really mine. If you look at JoPa (78 years old) and Alvarez (58 years old), who do you think is retiring at the end of the season? You guessed it, the guy that is not by all means already out to pasture, one Barry Alvarez. That being said all of Wolverine fans out there need to pull for our boys in Happy Valley to pull out the victory because Wisconsin has no tough games left after this one (home against Iowa; at Hawaii) while Penn State still has a better shot at losing at least one more (at East Lansing). You guessed it, much like last year when MSU did U of M a favor and beat Wisconsin; I am pulling for them to do the same thing again. So let’s go JoPa, win one for the Wolverines!

Penn State 33, Wisconsin 23

Illinois at Ohio State

I can’t even think of anything funny to say about this one other than to simply throw out the words “sweater vest” because I love that guy so much! Other than that this game should pretty much be over by half time, so go do some yard work or something.

Ohio State 35, Illinois 13

Miami at Virginia Tech

I know, I usually don’t like to talk about these “Florida” schools, let alone pick them to win, but this is the only real marquise match up this week. Look, as much as I am pulling for there to be a bunch of undefeated teams there at the end of the season to screw the BCS once again (when are we just going to go to a playoff people?) I just don’t see Virginia Tech pulling this one off. When you are overrated you are overrated and this is truly the first real team the “Hokies” have played all year. The defense of Miami is just too good and they get the best of “The Other Vick” on this afternoon.

Miami 27, Virginia Tech 20

Hey, sports dude, where is the Spartans game? I mean, you did all the other Big Ten teams, where the hell are the Spartans? I know you are a hater and all, but come on, don’t forget us. Well, I didn’t, you notice what else is missing my dear readers? That is right, it is now time for that feature to end all other features, the:


Purdue at Michigan State

Remember when everyone at the beginning of the season was talking about Purdue running the table in the Big Ten? Remember when, just a few weeks ago, the Spartans were the toast of the town and Stanton was going to win the Heisman? Yeah, I remember that, the good old days, how quickly things change. The Spartans, still basking in last week’s glorious victory over the mighty Hoosiers, fall asleep on this one thinking that Purdue is a gimme. Unfortunately for this squad nothing is a gimme nowadays. Purdue had a shot at running the table in the Big Ten, as in not winning a game, but luckily they ran into Sparty this week. Sorry sports pig, I am picking the upset:

Purdue 31, MSU 23

Upset specials of the week – Miami over Virginia Tech, Tennessee over Notre Dame, Cal over Oregon and the above mentioned Purdue over MSU.

U of M update – the Wolverines have a bye, good for the fact that they get to rest some tired, sore, injured bodies and bad because, if you ask me, it creates a perfect trap game. Just when they got some momentum going, just when they started to believe in themselves, they had to stop and take a week off. Why is that so bad, sports dude, they have Indiana at home after the bye? That is exactly it, my friends, the perfect trap game, stop the momentum, look ahead to Ohio State and over look the doormat that is the Hoosiers. Hey, with the way this season has gone for the Wolverines, trust me, I can believe it all I want too and be scared as hell of it happening!


Detroit at Minnesota

Yeah, Joey is starting again! Yeah, the Lions have not won in Minnesota in 14 years! Yeah, the Lions are going to lose! Seriously, even if Joey comes out gun slinging, this is a horrible thing. Look, if the Lions pull this off and Joey suddenly looks like the great QB we all expected it spells sudden doom for the Lions. How can you say that sports dude, maybe he learned his lesson? No he didn’t, trust me, it is a trap! I will use one Carlos Pena of the Tigers as an example. Every year we say “Carlos has got it; he is the FIRST BASEMAN OF THE FUTURE”, only to quickly start off slow, fade out and we lose faith in him. Then he has a strong second half and we repeat the same damn thing the following season. Seriously, that is Joey Harrington in a nut shell folks and I for one am tired of the trap. Starts off slow, finishes strong and then we think the kid finally has it all figured out only to shit on us once again. I hope the Lions lose, I hope Joey looks like shit and I hope Joey gets a permanent spot on that bench after this week, I am tired of the traps and I am tired of his lack of skills. Harsh you say? Get over it, the guy has had three years now, it is time to be harsh with that piece of shit that doesn’t even deserve to carry my jock!

Minnesota 37, Detroit 19

That is all I got, see what happens when they say “Joey” around me? I get all pissed and frustrated just thinking about his garbage! Later and remember to football responsibly people! The sports dude.

Post a Comment

referer referrer referers referrers http_referer
Web Counter
PlayStation 2 Games
Who links to me?

My blog is worth $7,903.56.
How much is your blog worth?