Luke Waltons Forehead presented by the Sports Dude.

Friday, October 21, 2005 at 1:12 PM

Weekend Warrior - Happy Birthday Edition!

Well, I almost forgot to mention that it was my “Happy Birthday” on Wednesday of this week, October 19th. That is right, one whole year of fun, excitement and crazy off the wall posts to not only amuse me, but to amuse the few of you that actually stop by here to spend time with me. In honor of such a monumental occasion, I give you the birthday edition of the all knowing of the know nothing, wacky, zany and utterly uniformed Weekend Warrior Post. Oh, and if you are interested, here is my first not so exciting day of posting right here. Enough with the flash back mushy garbage, let's get on to the current day football garbage!

Northwestern at MSU

Well, can we just call this the battle of the no defense teams? By the time the fourth quarter rolls around the scoreboard operator is literally using poster board to keep track of the offensive numbers, the scoreboard itself is full. Defense does not reign supreme on this day as two of the most prolific offenses in the Big 10 square off against one another in what should be an exciting match up. Exciting, that is, if you like your football scores to more resemble basketball scores! MSU has had two tough luck losses in a row, but being back at home and facing a team that can not defend for crap gives them the boost they need.

MSU 56, Northwestern 49

Ohio State at Indiana

Next to Penn State, the Hoosiers clearly are the surprise team in the Big Ten, actually still in the Big Ten Title picture this late in the season for the first time since the light bulb was invented. Unfortunately for Indiana they still are Indiana and no amount of luck in the world can change that. The sweater vest prevails yet again, but his offense still looks almost as bad as the Hoosiers on this Saturday afternoon.

OSU 27, Indiana 16

Penn State at Illinois

Still pissed off that Lloyd Carr petitioned for two extra seconds to be added to the clock last week, JoPa misses the opening kickoff because he is still barking at the officials. He doesn’t even bother to show up for the game until half time because he himself lost track of time and thought it was a later start. Luckily for him his team doesn’t require much coaching because this is, after all, a game against Illinois. Illinois coach Ron Zook does the opposite of Lloyd Carr, petitioning the officials to take time off the clock to get the massacre over with quicker.

Penn State 42, Illinois 17

Texas Tech at Texas

Coach Mack Brown pleads with his Longhorns to ignore the ghosts of choking past, as in the fact that his team always seems to lose that one game that costs them a shot at the National title. He reminds them that it was Oklahoma in the past, but they already took care of them, so keep your eyes on Pasadena at the end of the season. The players try to take note, but don’t really get it until late in the fourth quarter when the coach threatens to make all the players clean up after their mascot if they lose this game.

Texas 45, Texas Tech 42

Now here it is, the moment of anticipation for all two of my fans, that insane and totally hilarious:


U of M at Iowa

Lloyd Carr tries to remind his players that just because they are clearly living the “up-down theory” this season and just because they have not faired well recently in Iowa doesn’t mean they can not win this game. He points out that just because they won (Northern Illinois), lost (Notre Dame), won (Eastern Michigan), lost (Wisconsin), won (MSU), lost (Minnesota) and won (Penn State) doesn’t mean they should be afraid to actually win two games in a row for a change. Unfortunately the sports dude has his beloved Wolverines here for a reason; they are simply having one of those said “up-down theory” seasons that we all talk about. Troubles continue to mount for the Wolverines at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa and the Wolverines again fail to win back to back games for the first time this season. Keep your heads up boys, at least you got Indiana looming in the near future on your schedule, so there is at least hope for one more victory.

Iowa 27, U of M 24 (another stupid close loss, I am tired of these damn “almost” games!)


Lions at Browns

I guess I almost could put the Lions as the “MOM DO I REALLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS GAME” game week in and week out, but then what am I going to do with the Wolverines for the rest of the season? At least the Maize and Blue will be able to play an important game at Ford Field (please see Motor City Bowl for details) which is more than I can say for any game the Lions are going to play there this season! The woes continue in Cleveland where again the Lions have about as much offensive punch as Tonya Harding! Joey gets the start but does not take the field in the second half, the defensive players pummeled him and he was forced to go on injured reserve. Garcia does not fair much better than Joey, he still thinks he is a member of the Browns because he throws a couple picks to their defenders. He does at least do something unheard of in these parts since the days of Henry Ford himself; he gets the ball in the end zone on offense. Alas it is still not enough to save the Lions on this day, but enough to at least give him the starting nod the remainder of the season. Bye-bye Joey, hello Jeff!

Browns 24, Lions 17

That is all I got for today, as always football responsibly and keep a protective barrier in front of your flat screen, football is frustrating in these parts nowadays! Eat, drink and tail gate responsibly my friends, later! The sports dude.

Anonymous Evan said...

Thankfully, you were a bit off this week -- somehow both the Wolverines and the Lions managed to win!

I will say that you were right about Jeff Garcia -- I don't think he played that much better than Joey. He didn't make any big mistakes, but then again, until everything started unraveling around him this year, neither had Joey.

But they still looked like the same old hapless losers who finally got a break playing an awful team. We'll roll to a division title at 7-9, no doubt. Somehow, Mooch will keep his job, and Garcia will get a contract extention.

I swear, though, if the Lions don't draft or sign a QB who can be a legit long-term starter in the off-season, I'll be pissed. I'm scared shitless people are going to think Garcia is the answer to get us deep into the playoffs if he wins a few more games.  


Blogger the sports dude said...

Yes, the Wolverines surprised me this weekend, I will admit, now the big one next week in Northwestern.

As far as Garcia and the Lions are concerned I will say this, that would have been a loss if Joey were at QB, sorry, it would have been. I think the Lions would have scored more, and will, once the receivers get used to a QB like Garcia. Like the announcers kept saying once the receivers learn to come back to ball and that their new QB doesn't give up on plays they will put more points on the board.

Lastly, and I will touch more on this later, Garcia is simply the answer this year, that is it. If they do anything in the off season and can not get another veteran in here (I keep saying Jon Kitna, but that's me!) then simply give Garcia a one year contract, no more, and sit Orlovsky (who I think has the potential) or draft pick they get next year and force him to watch and learn. No more throwing to the Wolves and I think that is what will happen.

Lastly I like Mooch, always have and always will. For the record, if Garcia finishes out the season, the Lions finish they finish either 10-6 or 9-7! Eating some cornbread, I know, but that is what I get from looking at that schedule. Later.  


Blogger Leelanau Sports Guy said...

Garcia's legs gave the Lions a chance to make plays and allowed him to score his touchdown on the 4th and 1. Joey can't make that play and if Joey is in, Mooch probably doesn't go for it anyway. Garcia gives Mooch some confidence and it will show up in more agressive play-calling down the line.

Garcia is not the long-term answer, but he can provide some experience and leadership on a team that desperately needs it.

I agree I don't like the idea of a contract extension, but if he leads this team to the playoffs that's exactly what's going to happen.  


Anonymous Evan said...

I'm not going to say this would have been a win or a loss with Joey at QB.

All I'll say is that it was BARELY a win with Garcia at the helm, and after 26 years of watching the Lions suck ass -- well, OK 25 years...they were good in 91 playing on the emotion surrounding the Utley injury -- I've finally come to realize that the backup is never the answer in any term -- short or long -- even if he plays well once or twice.

I'm also curious, sports dude, why you dig Mooch so much. What's he ever done? He had four good years in San Fran -- but for at least two of those, he had INCREDIBLE talent on offense. Unless he brings Steve Young back from retirement, gets a new O-line, and gets Rogers off the happy tobaccy, there's no reason to expect he'll be able to duplicate those results here. His offense is too detailed, nuanced, and too much about "creativity" out of nonsense conservative plays that only a handful of QBs can run it well. If Garcia can't put up huge -- and I mean monsterious -- numbers when Roy and Chuck come back, it's just more proof Mooch is a bonehead and his offense doesn't work without a guy like Steve Young, who comes around once every ten years, at QB.

I hate Bill Parcells, but one of the things you have to give him credit for is that he can at least get DECENT results out of virtually any QB. Same with Joe Gibbs (well, at least in the past). Mooch's offense is too personnel-dependent, I think.  


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